Knock knock! I'm in the shower, i'll be there in 5 minutes

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EVERYBODY has a penis!!! Everybody!!!!

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Your mom is such a big whore that she sleeps with your dad.

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What did the child get from there parent on Christmas? Nothing. He's an orphan.

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Why couldn't Jimmy eat his food? Because I threw a microwave at him

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Today, both my parents were killed in a car accient. FML.

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A man walks into a bar. He then takes a step back and notices that his head hurts.

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Whats the difference between a black man and a paraplegic? A paraplegic doesn't walk out on his family

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Two Canadian men are sitting in a room. Man 1: Do you know what happens when you shoot a wolverine? Man 2: No. Man 1: It absorbs the bullets, duh. The second man proceeds to go outside with a gun. He returns in a few minutes. Man 1: What did you do with that gun? Man 2: I shot a wolverine. Man 1: What happened? Man 2: It fell over and died. I think you watch too much X-Men.

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Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

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A praying mantis is very graceful

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Q. Why do cheetahs run so fast? A. Because their bodies allow them to.

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How do you get your dog to give you a blow job? You have to force him.

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How does a black guy die? Unknown

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How do you wake up your grandmother........ You don't, she had a massive heart attack and died in her sleep

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what is big, grey and sits in the middle of a field. A filing cabinet

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? She was a woman

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Three dogs are barking at a wall. People walk by thinking "Why are these dogs barking at a wall?".

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why did michele jackson rape a kid. because he was horny duhhhh!

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Which is heavier, a tonne of feathers or a tonne of lead? It doesn't matter when your loved ones are being torn apart by bears.

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why was 14 scared of 15? 7-8-9

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Actually it was me Josh brown

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? cause it was dead

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don't take life to seriously nobody gets out alive

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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