Why did the deer stop running? It was hit by a car

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Why couldnt rex bark??? because he was a fish!

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A lesbian and a gay both lie about there gender on eharmony, trying to get a date with someone there own gender. By coincedene, they get matched and go on a date, and both of them realize how weird this situation is and go home.

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A man questions wether a cat will always land on it's feet. He takes a cat from a pet store and tosses it into the air. The cat lands on it's feet. Startled, the cat runs into the street and gets hit by a car. The man goes to prison for theft and animal abuse.

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how do you make a plumber sad? Kill his family

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd probably put all the labials, coronals and dorsals in separate places sorted into plosives, nasals and fricatives, with the vowels at the beginning sorted by their relative IPA chartings, to make it more logical and easily attainable to foreigners.

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why does Tom Sawyer like apples? He likes their flavor

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I've got a smoke dectecter, You died in a fire

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Why was the girl unhappy with her male teacher? Because he gave her a bad grade...and raped her the night before.

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I met a muslim girl the other day Shes the bomb

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I walk the path less taken. Moral: Everything in life is a moral, as far as I care immorality does not exist, everything goes, I AM MORAL MAN!! He`s the MORAL MAN IIS HEE A MORAAL OR IS HEE... (you know Ozzy) AND NOW THAT YOU ARE DOMINATED you can go back to your fun, or reply, again, but you see, at this point I am already elswhere, so if you reply, you lose your control of your nasal coughanalcough nerve endings, and the potency of course.

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why were the niggas in paris? rhetorical question. everyone knows they aren't french

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Yo mama so fat she runs the risk of stroke, heart disease, or diabetes

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Ask me if I am a tree. "Are you a tree?" No.

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Vegeta, what does the scouter say about his power level? I can't remember... :(

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what is the meaning of life? i dont know, but im fairly sure its not 42

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What do you call a fat computer? Adele :)

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Q: What happens after you have sex with Michelle Obama? A: You wake up and kill yourself.

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How many blacks does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One, unless he's short. Then, he'll need a friend to hold the ladder for him.

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If a large bear falls out of a tree, why would a giraffe also eat the cheese?

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men's rights activists

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What's the opposite of a joke? An anti-joke. You're reading one right now.

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i'm hard

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Boy Scout? Boy Scouts come back from camp.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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