A pirate walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey, did you know you have a steering wheel down your pants?" The pirate replies, "Arrrgh, there's been a horrible nautical accident. Please call an ambulance immediately."

What's worse than Bogans? Boat people.

What's Red, Smells like Blue Paint, What tastes like the sea, and has been doused in the essence of the 80's? If you can come up with something, don't bother; This is a trick question. The space was to give you time to think. Forget your answer.

What's brown and sticky? A black man covered in syrup.

Tommy was excited to get a tattoo of a falafel on his wiener. He got skin cancer.

what did the soup kitchen give people for christmas Meatloaf] -Fluzturnusturbusturcusterdustur

What did Steven Hawking get for christmas? A bike.

HOW MANY CRACK-HEADS DOES IT TAKE TO CHANGE A LIGHT BULB? NONE, THERE AIN'T NO ELECTRICITY IN THE CRACKHOUSE!!!

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?" The horse says "my wife has cancer"

What's worse than having a retarded baby? Not having a baby

Q: What do you call 500 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean? A: A Good Start.

KNOCK KNOCK whos there Malcom i dont know any Malcom go away!

How many infants does it take to paint a house? Forty-Seven.

What's worse; twelve babies in one trash can or one baby in twelve trash cans?

Why didn't the new baseball cap fit little Tommy? Because Tommy was decapitated

A duck walks into a bar. The bartender asks " What'll You Have" The duck doesn't respond because it's a duck.

Why do black guys always have sex on their mind? Because they are men.

Why does Ray Charles always smile? Because he doesn't know he's black.

Why wouldn't Leena sleep with Ole? Because she thought him to be a dumb, ugly, Scandinavian.

how do you keep an idiot in suspense. I dont' know he still hasn't told me

Haunnaka in 1940's Germany. six thousand people die. in one minute.

A drunk guy walks into a car

Roses are red Violets are blue Chrome won't stop crashing randomly F*ck Chrome

What do you think when you see an asian woman behind the wheel of a car? She's very attractive.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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