what is the difference between lizzy and a momma hippo........ lizzy doesnt bathe.

What's worse than a papercut? Dying

What does it take to make the best anti-joke ever? not this

What worse than seeing a worm in your apple? Half a worm in your apple.

Roses are brown Violets are brown I should probably water My garden soon.

a man walks into a bar with a poodle stuffed halfway up his rectum... WHY ARE YOU WAITING FOR A PUNCHLINE!? MY GOD! THIS MAN HAS A DOG UP HIS ANUS!

i once bought a timeshare, guess what happened? i'm broke

If life throws you lemons, get under some shelter so you don't get pelted by flying fruit and worry about making lemonade later.

Ok soo theres a Jewish Guy, a Christian Guy and a Gay Guy. The Jewish Guy goes Amen The Christian Guy goes Ámen The Gay Guy goes Ammeeeennn

Where did the cow go? To the slaughter house!!!

What do you call a dear with no eyes? A no-idear

Why do women have boobs? So you've got something to look at while you talk to them. That's sexist... I'm sorry.

what do you say when your phone is broken? A: my phone is broken

A guy walks into a bar. The bartender says "Why the long face?" The guy didn't respond because he was deaf.

Knock Knock, Who's there? Duck, Duck who? Duck Sandwich

A muslim walks into a gun shop

What's worse than having AIDS? A piano falling on your left middle finger.

A Russian man walks out of a bar looking very sober because he walked out of the bar sober.

Whats the difference between a truck full of bowling balls and a truck full of dead babies? You can't unload one with a pitchfork

How did the Mexican cross the border? He couldn't he didn't have legs

A guy forgot his 20th wedding anniversary. His wife was really mad, and said that she better have something in the driveway that goes from 0 to 350 in 10 seconds, and he quickly pulled out an AK-47 and murdered her violently.

what is the differnce between my truck and chuck norris? i eat my own poop.

Why were two black men fighting for a dollar that fell on the floor? Because they both lost their homes in the crashing market and have to care for their ill children that need money for medical expenses.

Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words are merely the smallest element of language capable of containing meaning and isolation and, as such could never directly produce the 4,000 Newtons of force per square centimetre required to break bones.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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