Jimmy comes home from school one day and goes to his mother. "Mommy, guess what?" "What?" "I had sex with my teacher today!" Naturally after hearing such news the mother gets appalled and tells her husband. "Well, that's my boy" he says "Now that your a man Jimmy we're going to go out and get some drinks tonight be ready in a half an hour." So they arrive at the local bar "Wait here son, you can sit down and save us a table and I'll go get the drinks ok?" "No dad I think I'll stand" "..why? What's the matter son?" "My butt hurts"

Roses are red Violets are blue Faces like yours belong in the zoo But dont worrie ill be there Not in a cage But laughing at you

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 6 encountered 7 in the Vietnam War where he killed 6's brothers, leaving him scarred. 6 has countless nightmares due to the numerous visions that reminisce that situation in great deal. Also, 7 had a big hook on his hand, which was very scary.

Q: What should you do when life gives you lemons? A: Life would never really give you lemons...

How do you put 100 kids on a girls face ? skeet

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What did the cop say to the speeding black man? "Can I see your license and registration?"

Whats 9 plus 10? 19

when life throws you lemons you should probably get out of the way because it will hurt

whats worse than finding out there's mold in your bread? finding out the holocaust is in your bread

Q: Why did they bury the Indian? A: Because he was dead.

What do you get when you cross a rhino and a whale? Comment your answer:

Have u seen stevie wonders new house? No. Niether has he

What did the man say to the cat? I thought you were fake.

Why can't you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom? Because dinosaurs died out 65.5 million years ago.

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

mirror mirror on the wall who has the most desire of them all? Matt Daly!

I road a horse to school. My friend stabbed it with a Javelin and screamed.... The horse was his Dad

My mom told me and my brother to lean up on a commercial...we were watching netflix

Why couldn't the kid eat his vegetables? His parents stabbed him...

Whats faster than a mexican running down the street with your TV? An airplane

Q: What do you call a fish with no eye? A: Fssshh

What do you call a guy with a rainbow tuxedo on? A classy man that is very well dressed

why did the blonde put on a coat? because she was cold.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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