Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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A guy wanted to write a joke. He didn't.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Although I guess there is probably no way to get on the swing with no arms unless there was another person there to aid you in the process, and that is highly unlikely because nobody wants to hang out with a girl with no arms. Still even if Suzie was helped on to the swing she wouldn't be able to swing because of her lack of arms. Maybe that person who helped her on pushed the swing with her on it bearing in mind she has no arms. In that case Suzie should stop hanging out with that person because they are very sadistic to deliberately shove a girl with no arms off a swing.

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What time is it? It depends in your location and time zone

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? One is a bottom-feeding scum sucker, and the other is an advisor who assists people by representing them on legal matters.

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Why did dave not hug his wife? becuase he said she looked horrifying from the war in iraq.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread!

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these guys im about to shoot owen,john,henry,shawn

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Why was the boat red and sticky? A boy dropped his slurpee. What were you thinking?!

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A man stops another man on the street in Manhattan and asks "How do I get to Carnegie Hall ?" The other man gives him direction, including which subway stop to get off at.

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What does it take to make the best anti-joke ever? not this

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Hey, is that your corvette? No, I thought it was yours.

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Why did a kid throw a clock out the window? Because he was adopted

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Three fish swim into a bar. The first one says "blub blub blub". The second one says "blub blub blub". The third one says "I'm not a fish I'm a human". What does the bartender say? Answer = Ayy Llmao _George_Bush_

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Roses are rose, violets are violet, that's just a fact, I've got aspergers.

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I found my car in the lot with a broken tail-light and a note under the windscreen wipers. I accidentally reversed into your car, Lots of people saw me do it. They all think I'm writing down my name and details, Well, I'm not.

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What's the difference between ten dead babies and a Ferrari? There's no Ferrari in my garage.

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Life on the line? I just do it for the kill and the potential savage rape and consumption! And yeah, a man is not a man but a boy if he cant protect his lady friends. HEY WAIT A FUCKING MOMENT! Why you playing so hard to get now? YOUR FLESH IS MINE! It is just like a billion pages ago where we where talking VERY down and dirty.

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A man walks into a doctors office and waits for his turn. After his name was called he walked up to the doctor and told him that he kept having hallucinations. The doctor prescribed an antibiotic to help with the mans addiction to LSD.

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What do a watermelon and a bunny have in common? they are both green except the bunny

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Your girlfriend.

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In Soviet Russia... ...there are many buildings and landmarks for the viewing.

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What did God say to the man who just died? Nothing. God and Heaven something parents make up so kids will do the right thing.

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Why couldn't the gay man grow a beard? He shaved his face frequently.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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