If Michelle rides her bike at 15 mph for 20 minutes and Erik rides his bike at 20 mph for 12 minutes, why is Michelle not in the kitchen?

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Why did the crocodile cross the road? It is actually highly improbable that such a large reptile would be in a residential area where such roads would exist.

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I admit I don't know what the future holds, but one thing I know for sure is that... Lance Armstrong has only one ball.

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What did the man do when his truck was stolen? He contacted the police, who immediately began searching for the culprit. He then contacted his car insurance company and was soon compensated for the full value of his truck. One day the man was in his new truck listening to the local news and heard that the thief was found and convicted of Grand Theft Auto; his name was Martin Kaiser.

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What do you call a dear with no eyes? A no-idear

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Why was the door opened? Because I opened it

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It's caoimhin I wasnt writing cos kane turned my computer off the bel end aodhans been tuping sayin its be the spa.

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Why did the chicken cross the road?

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My friend is a famous actor. Fooled you! I have no friends.

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What do you call a blackjack man driving a car? An average citizen.

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A blonde, brunette, and a redhead are taking a chemistry exam. They each get a solid B on the test.

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What do you call black man flying a plane? A pilot you racist bastard

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What did the horse say to the man? The man woke up from his dream so he didn't know either

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because six cheated on seven and slept with nine.

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Why did the dinosaur cross the road? It didn't.

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? - Probably about 5 or 6, depending on the car.

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What succeeds most of the time? The population of a field with grass.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She has no arms. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Sally

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Teachers be like "Hold on class, I am almost done with my lesson!" Students: " Aint nobody got time 4 dat!"

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knock knock who's there? pizza man ok

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Whats the difference between a truck full of bowling balls and a truck full of dead babies? You can't unload one with a pitchfork

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Why don't dinosaurs eat other dinosaurs? They're all dead.

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If you could eliminate one thing in your life, what would it be ? My ex.

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If you say "Hi" to every tree you pass, is that being environmentally friendly?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops