Why is Short Circuit the best movie ever made? Because it tastes like lemons

What do you call Jack Black on a bad day? Kevin Hart.

What do lazy asses get for Christmas? Fat

You know what they say about priests with big rosaries? I don't know, it's in Latin.

What's the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? The wheelchair.

Why didn't Johnny's father come home? He was killed in Afghanistan.

I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

Why are orphans so bad at baseball? They don't know where home is.

What did the tooth brush say to the toothe paste? Minorities.

Why was the little boy sad? -Because he was on Fire.

What color is the orange? Grey, I'm color blind.

Why is our country going downhill? Because going uphill is harder.

Why did the girl commit suicide? She got raped

Why did the catholic preist take all the little boys out in the woods? They were going on a camping trip.

How do you take a picture of a man with a wooden leg? You can't take pictures with wooden legs.

Why was the blonde confused? Because someone was dressed in a chicken costume throwing pinecones at her.

What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?white vans

What's funny about four black guys driving off a cliff in a Cadillac? They were my friends...

How many TV shows are there? A lot.

What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

A blonde, a brunette and a redhead dive off a motorboat. They are sucked into the propeller and brutally disfigured instantly.

Yo mamma so fat not even Dora can explore her

- How do you save a black man from drowning? - I don't know - Good!

What's the hardest part about watching a 2 year old get hit by a bus? Trying not to laugh.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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