What happened when Glen jumped off a building? The rope snapped his neck. He died.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What do you call a black man with big cuts on his arms? You call an ambulance to help him!

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What did the fruit say when it was about to be sliced in half? Nothing, fruits cannot talk, duh.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

CJISTHEBEST Sticks and stones may break my bones because i have osteoperosis.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did the African boy die? He was denied any antibiotics to heal his severe case of mono and AIDS, and was living on dirty water and dirt.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Knock knock. Who's there? To To Who? To Whom.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

You know what's a real drag? A club foot

thumb_up thumb_down -7

One day a terribly epileptic child is put on on a strict Atkins diet by his loving mother. A week later he finds that the frequency and intensity of his seizures have been reduced by its ketogenic effects, which provides exogenous fats for the body to burn, but limits the available carbohydrate so that ketone bodies build up. It is the high level of these ketones which appear to suppress seizures.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

How many Polacks does it take to screw in a light-bulb? One. A person's ethnicity or country of origin, or religion for that matter, would have no bearing on one's ability to perform the relatively simple task of installing a light-bulb. Furthermore, there is no reason to use the negative slur 'polack' when referring to a person of Polish descent.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

whats worse than finding out there's mold in your bread? finding out the holocaust is in your bread

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why couldn't the baby play with the blocks? It died during birth.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Knock knock. Who's there? The police. The police who? The band.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Knock knock. After 1 and a half minutes of waiting, Phil assumes his friend is not home, and promptly leaves.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

what do you call cheese that isn't yours? not your cheese, you probably stole it.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Knock knock who's there? the police, your under arrest the police your under arrest who? BAM! sir, I'm placing you under arrest for the murder of your wife, anything you say or do can be used against you. IT WASN'T ME!!!! yeah yeah tell it the judge

thumb_up thumb_down -7

knock knock! who's there? Jim Jim who? Jim Goldenbach

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did Sally fall off the swings? She has no arms. Knock knock Whose there? Not Sally, she has no arms

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why can't dogs fly? Because they do not have wings.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

I used to say "I used to be an adventurer like you but then I took an arrow to the knee" like you but then I took an arrow in the knee.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did the dead chicken cross the road? It didn't. It was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What is the worst part about eating a vegetable? Eating the wheelchair too.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

roses are red violets are blue I lost my dog to typhoid it was an unfortunate case of bed luck

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A black man "walks into" a club. Several minutes later he is dead. The police, in a later press conference, refuse to admit that the club ever left the officer's belt.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops