Knock knock! Go away. I'm busy masturbating, and it would be extremely awkward if you were to entire my residence at this time. Please return at a later hour.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What's the worst part about rollerblading? Telling your dad that you're gay.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

You might be a redneck if you hate your father and you live in a trailer

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What did God say to the man who just died? Nothing. God and Heaven something parents make up so kids will do the right thing.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What do tigers dream of when they take a tiger snooze? Mike Tyson

thumb_up thumb_down -12

I just flew in from New Zealand, and boy am I tired. It was a really long flight and I found it incredibly difficult to sleep in those seats, so I didn't bother and kept myself awake watching in-flight films the whole way.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

One day, an Irishman, a Jew and an American were walking home from a long game of golf. "God, that was a long game" said the American, to which the Irishman replied "aye, that it was." The Irishman then turned to the Jew, and asked him how he managed to get two birdies in succession. The Jew, after a moment of deliberation, began to explain. "Well, it all began when I was six. See, there was a mountain right next to Casparia, the village I lived for most of my life back in Wales. Every day, I'd come back from school, and ask my dad why nobody ever attempted to scale the mountain. 'To do so would be an unnecessary risk, son, and people are too busy working to put food and water on the tables for their families to undertake something so foolish.' One night, when insomnia was getting the better of me, I decided to get a better look at the mountain, so I strapped on my boots, my fur coat and some woolly mittens and left for the mountain. After a few hours of walking, I approached the closest hill which gave me a perfect view of the mountain's first peak, and there I spotted a polar bear, mauling a hiker to death." The Jew paused to check the Irishman and the American were following, when the American spoke up; "hold on there, there aren't any polar bears in Casparia!" The Irishman also spoke up; "there isn't even a village called Casparia, well, anywhere!" The Jew smiled slightly, and a few seconds later the smile broke out into a gigantic grin, and he finally replied: "exactly".

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Q:Whats the hardest part about eating a vegetable A:The Wheelchair

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why don't you hit a black guy riding a bike? Because that is dangerous and he could get hurt.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What's pink fluff? Pink fluff. What's blue fluff? Pink fluff holding it's breath. What's red fluff? Angry pink fluff. Ask me if I'm a truck. Are you a tr-- No. What's green and has wheels? Grass. I was just lying about the wheels. What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm in your apple, 'cause the other half's in your mouth. What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? Angry pink fluff. What's worse than angry pink fluff? The holocaust. That's not funny. Stop laughing.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did the grandma stop baking cookies? Because she is an aging widow suffering from depression because her family seems to forget her existance as she barely lives day by day wilting in her 1 bedroom home.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

How can you get a handicap black man to walk again? You don't...... Unless you motivate him with fried chicken. Anti-anti-joke!

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What did the five fingers say to the face? Nothing. Fingers cannot talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What did the woman say when she ate crabs. This smells like my vagina (This women died slowly from crabs)

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What do you call a black man flying a plane ? - a pilot.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why was the black man running? He has to stay fit for the army.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

A gay man kisses a gay man and therefore is considered gay.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What do you call a fish with one eye? A fish

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Whats wrong with me? Your alive.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

do u like chicken ? ....no good...cuz its for black people.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

y was man afaid of fire?, cuz its hot

thumb_up thumb_down -14

what did the red rock say to the blue rock? Nothing. Rocks can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why did the boy eat the chips? Because he was hungry

thumb_up thumb_down -14

jews

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops