What do you say to a disabled man in a lift? Have a nice day.

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So two people have conversation Luke: Hi Logan: Hi Snake eyes: ALHSKjagjdaoggj;jdjg;aj;kaj'dgajd Luke: You are so smart! (you retarted piece of poo) Logan: GAAAAAAAAAABBBBBBEEEEEEN

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What do you call cheese that's not yours? Stolen cheese

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How do you acquire a bomb? Go to the bomb store.

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Why is Ray Charles always smiling? He's not, corpses rarely smile

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What's the difference between a prostitute and your mom? Your mom is a well educated lawyer who earns half a million dollar a year while the prostitute sells her own body for an extremely small amount of money.

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What happened when Johnny fell off of his bike? He suffered a very tragic and fatal brain hemorrhage resulting in a lower population by a minute percentile that is undetectable by the US Census.

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There was a bunch of kids on a bus. One boy yelled "Look a squirrel!" Nobody saw it because he's dyslexic

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Women's Rights

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Cancer

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What did the strawberry say to the grape? Nothing, inanimate objects can't use verbal communication.

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What did the Farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Where's my Tractor?"

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What do you call an attractive woman in a blender? A very rare occurrence.

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why was the tricycle lonely? the mom back over the kid in the driveway.

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Whats long and black and goes around corners? The unemployment line.

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A man walks into a bar with his dog. He orders 14 shots and proceeds to drink. For each shot he takes, he feeds one to his dog, who accepts it willingly. The bartender says "Well I've never seen anything stranger. Why did you order 14 shots, and why are you giving half to your dog." "Well," says the man, "my 14 year old dog was diagnosed with a fatal heart condition. I cannot afford to put him down, so the shots should kill him." The dog then dies.

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Why couldn't the blonde count to 70? because 69 was a mouth full:)

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Your mom is so fat that she has trouble walking up the stairs because she gets easily winded.

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Q: what do you call a mushy green circle that tastes good? A: An avocado

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours Stolen propety....

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Q: Why does a hamburger doesn't taste like an ice cream? A: Because.

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What do you call a horse with two legs? A kangaroo

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Roses are red Violets are blue I look down My pants are brown.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops