Yo momma so fat that they've diagnosed her with type 2 diabetes and she has an extremely elevated risk of heart disease. You should really encourage her to try and eat better and get more exercise.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To buy more crystal meth to fuel his addiction while his wife and children starved in the public houses.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd probably put all the labials, coronals and dorsals in separate places sorted into plosives, nasals and fricatives, with the vowels at the beginning sorted by their relative IPA chartings, to make it more logical and easily attainable to foreigners.

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Who would win if Chuck Norris and God fought to the death? None they are both fictional.

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So a guy walks up to a gay guy and says: "You are a fag." The gay guy says: "That is very offensive, you jerk." So the guy says: "Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know what it meant" and the gay guy says: "I accept your apology." Then the gay guy crosses the street and gets hit by a bus

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Dey see me boilin' Dey choppin' God I'm so fresh and juicy So fresh and juicy So fresh and juicy So fresh and juiiiiiiccccy! MR MCCANN

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What do you call a white guy sitting on a bench? The NBA.

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Don't chop the dinosaur daddy! OK.

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Why did the monk shave his head? So he's more aerodynamic.

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What do you call it when Justin Beiber has sex with a woman? Sex

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Q. What happened to the dog when he was kick in the privates? A. Nothing he was neutered a year ago.

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whats the difference between a baby and an onion? no one cries when u chop up a baby.

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A horse, a duck, a pig, and a muslim walk into bar. The horse ducks, the duck's hoarse, the pig's in a blanket, and the muslim has a can, being surprised at how far a can can preach hate in chicago. The bartender reminds the muslim that he is keeping company with a swine, and the muslim feels offended for the poor horse.

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Q) What did one chicken say to the other? A) Nothing. Chickens can't talk.

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Who cured cancer? Not God. What do you think of the almighty now?

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What do you call a person driving a plane? Not a pilot, they fly planes.

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i saw amango it splootered

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what would happen if every overweight person in america jumped at the same time? they would all get a little exercise.

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How do you torture Helen Keller? Give her a cheese-grater and tell her it's a book.

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What is black and blue and red all over? A woman that just learned a valuable lesson.

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Katy perry isn't on clould nine because it's physicaly impossible to stand on water persipitation.

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How many cows does it take to swim on land? 4.2

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. . I am a whale

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Q: how do you get a clown off a swing? A: You hit it with a axe

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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