Officer i'm dot nrunk, beriously you gotta selieve me!

thumb_up thumb_down +6

there was once a time before tht time when there wasnt bonerss there were erectionss CC

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did the soldier get for his birthday? Shot in the face.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

White NBA players.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Make hurtful and upsetting remarks about her person.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

How many blondes can you fit in a car? About 5 if you lift the arm rest.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A priest, a minister, and a rabbi all walk into a bar. They all say ouch and then continue walking. Although the minister did hit it at a higher speed and ended up with a black eye.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Whats the difference between a black baby and a white baby? 15 minutes in the oven.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

joe paterno doesn't walk into a police station

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A man had two kids who he loved very much but would always come home in a bad mood. On a Friday after returning home, he tells his wife, "I hate my life," then proceeds to take his anger out on her. If you were expecting for this to be a joke, then you clearly have some messed up humor. Abuse in the household isn't to be taken lightly.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A piece of paper got wet. I stuck it over the fireplace to dry off, but it lit on fire.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

An Anthony eats a juicy pickle.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

How many dead babies can you fit in a bath tub? One second let me count them.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's Red, Smells like Blue Paint, What tastes like the sea, and has been doused in the essence of the 80's? If you can come up with something, don't bother; This is a trick question. The space was to give you time to think. Forget your answer.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How did Helen Keller's parents discipline her? Hopefully not too sternly. There's not much trouble a blind and deaf girl can get into, one would imagine.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A pirate walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey, did you know you have a steering wheel down your pants?" The pirate replies, "Arrrgh, there's been a horrible nautical accident. Please call an ambulance immediately."

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Tommy was excited to get a tattoo of a falafel on his wiener. He got skin cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

what did the soup kitchen give people for christmas Meatloaf] -Fluzturnusturbusturcusterdustur

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's been hit millions of times? A woman married to an abusive husband.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's brown and sticky? A black man covered in syrup.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's worse than Bogans? Boat people.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What do you call two spaniards talking in French. Bilingual.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A blond walked into a bar. A guy picker her up and then they had sex.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

why did javonne choose club getaway madonna wanted to foster

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops