A kid goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor! it hurts when I do this!" The Doctor says, "Well, because you have been diagnosed with ALD, and to make matters worse you are allergic to rapeseed oil" The child then cries because he will never live past 40 years old

Two men and a woman go to lunch together at a restaurant in New York City. The first man says, "I'm glad that we're finally doing this." The second man says, "Yeah, me too." The woman concurs.

How do you find your way out of the impossible maze? You don't.

whats worse then getting a parking ticket? the plague

what do you get when you cross a bulldog with a shitshu? a puppy.

What do call the time things don't go the way you plan them? Reality. bitch

Q. What's The Best Thing About Having Sex With Twenty Three Year Old's? A. There are 20 of them...

Why did Lucy fall off the swing set? Because she died. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Lucy.

What do you do if your walking into a room full of Lions and Jaguars? You stop walking.

What's black and at the top of a burning building? A paraplegic

What do you call a black guy doing community service? Someone who wanted to give back. Stop being racist.

Knock. Knock. Who's there? Banana. Banana who? Are you mentally handicapped? Bananas are fruit.

What do you call a girl with an iq of 13 Dead

What do Selena and Justin, Kate and William, and Barack and Michelle all have in common? Nothing.

A Japanese Nuclear Scientist goes to the swimming pool, and buys a ticket. He went to the changing rooms and proceeded to have a lovely bit of exercise, which helped him burn off the calories from his carbohydrate based luncheon.

What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick

What's worst then a road kill? Multiple road kils.

bite me

Why did the bear turn red? Because I fucking stabbed it!

pobody's nerfect

roses are red violets are blue you smell like poo I F*****G HATE YOU!

Hush, little baby, don't say a word, Mama's going to buy you a mockingbird. If that mockingbird won't sing, Mama's going to buy you a another mockingbird.

Why was the little boy sad? Both of his parents died in a tragic car accident.

Q: Why did Timmy cry? A: You would too if you had your arm cut off

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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