I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. But it wasn't actually getting bigger, it was just getting closer. So I got hit in the face.

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Chuck Norris never shows emotion!!!... because he is a pragmatic person and thinks in a more logical manner.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? because

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Why did Shrek eat the onions? Anyone who has seen the Shrek films would know that Shrek never mentions anything about eating onions. In the first movie, Shrek and donkey have a conversation in which he compares himself to an onion, but the scene lasts maybe a minute and never again does Shrek mention onions in any way, shape, or form. For whatever reason, this one scene has turned onions into the strongest signature icon associated with Shrek.

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Why was the emo kid sad? Because he gets raped by his dad every night

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A Jew finally tipped He was in a canoe

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Wow you look beautiful in that picture..... Let me see your tits. Sorry, I thought I was still texting.

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Knock knock Who's there? To To whom? No, its To Who now, since I married

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What was John Lennon's last hit? The pavement.

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What's the hardest thing to do while masturbating? Having sex.

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how many large people can you fit in a bath tub ... 1/16

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Why did the girl cry? i took her happy meal.

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-Is your refrigerator running? -Yes. -Just wondering.

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What do you call it, when a jew makes fun of a black guy? Racism.

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What's blck and blue and doesn't like sex? The ten year old in my car.

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What did the captain say to the priest? We're on a boat.

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bob lost his camouflage bag. he never found it.

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You can pick your friends you can pick your nose but you cant pick your friends nose.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. -Knock Knock. -Who's there? -Not Sally.

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Why did the black man kill himself? Because he had a very serious case of depression brought on by his recent divorce

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What did the lady say to the boy who's parents just died? Haha, your parents just died.

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Q: What did the doctor say to his wife? A: Penis.

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What do you call a middle-eastern man flying a plane? A pilot

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Where can you find a tetraplegic? Where you left him.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops