what has two legs, and is red? half a cat.

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Why do women live longer? Once their sexual and metabolistic hormones are moleculy different from men's, their metabolism is different and act on different organs and vice-versa. Therefore, they live longer. Still, in a worldwide average, more men born than women.

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The boy gets shot in the face, he then dies of childhood obesity.

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so a man walks into a bar..... and says ouch.

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What sound does a snail make? Meow....... Think hard and you'll get it

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The doctor said to the boy that a spoon full of sugar helps the medicine go down. He is diabetic.

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Why did Suzy fall off the swing? As Suzy neared the ground while swinging, her foot caught a small hole in the swingset's pebble foundation, and the power of Suzy's momentum along with the sudden stop of Suzy's swing forced Suzy to fly forward off of the swing. Suzy, seeing the silliness of her mistake, laughed it off, and tried to get back up. She quickly realized that her leg had snapped in half. Suzy will never walk again.

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A black man wearing a belt. Oh, he has a shoelace!

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What's worst than finding a worm in your apple Finding half a worm in your apple .....

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If you have ten apples, and I take away three, then you will only have seven apples left, because ten minus three is seven. On the other hand, if I have a hundred apples, and you take away ninety-six, then I will call the police on you because that is stealing and it is not allowed. I will also remove you from my friends list on Facebook because stealing isn't nice.

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What did Yoda say to Darth Vader? The only time the two had talked Darth Vader was still Anakin therefor, he said nothing.

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How many Alzheimer patients does it take to change a light bulb? To get to the other side!

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When life gives you melons you may be dyslexic.

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How do you get four gay guys to sit on one barstool? It's quite difficult, it would be easier to just get 3 more barstools.

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What do you call a person with one eye and no arms? Names.

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A man walks in to a bar with a frog stapled to his head. The bar tender says What the heck is that. The frog says I don't know this thing has been coming out of my but for two days

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What's black and at the top of a burning building? A paraplegic

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America's Got Talent WIN! Britian's Got Talent WIN! Mexico's Got Talent WTF!

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Yo mama so fat she makes blind kids cry

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Tulips are red, As you can tell...a lot of blood has been spilt today.

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Teacher: Why did you fail this test? Student: Because the hamster that gives energy to my brain just died.

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What's blue, white and red all over? Not a duck.

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What did the one Brick say to the other Brick? We have the same name.

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What do you call a Mexican that crossed the border. An Illegal Immigrant.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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