What did the famer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?!?!

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I was sitting in traffic the other day. I was runover.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? "Dwane!" I don't know any Dwane. Perhaps you have the wrong address. "Oh. Sorry to have bothered you!"

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Why was the black man lynched? Because he was found by angry racists in the 1930's.

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Why was billy sad? He was being brutally hacked to peices behind his garage

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Women

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Why was the girl called stupid? She is mentally retarded...

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This is not a joke.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Your mom. Just kidding, it's the pizza guy. Pizza guy who?

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An American man and a Chinese man have a conversation. The American man asks the Chinese man after a couple of minutes of speaking, "How long have you lived in the United States?" The Chinese man replies, "I moved to the United States when I was ten years old."

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Stolen property that you should return immediately because the consequences of shop-lifting can prevent you from getting a good job and might land you in prison.

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Three explorers are walking through the jungle when they are suddenly captured by a group of cannibals, the cannibals, going through years of culture and hereditary custom, kill the explorers, skin their bodies, chop them to pieces and cook their flesh, finally they eat it giving them a prosperous feast while the rest of the world is unaware of whatever happened in that jungle.

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What is the difference between Jesus and jackAwhole lota fat

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Two muffins are in an oven one muffin says to the other muffin "It's hot in here" the other muffin says "Holy crap a talking muffin".

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What did the caterpillar say to the robot? Nothing. Caterpillars do not have vocal chords and there are not, as yet, any truly portable robots capable of comprehending speech so to speak to one would be pointless.

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Q: Whats pointy and sharp and rhymes with life? A: A spear. It's close enough.

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What do you call a horse with a missing leg Calling it names could be considered animal abuse and should be reported immediately

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Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Because they're extinct.

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What do you get when you stab a man in the leg with a knife? A court summons because you have committed a horrible crime

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What did the young man's clothes smell like after a long night of partying? Laundry detergent, it was quite pleasant

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Want to hear an orphan joke? Knock Knock Who's there? Not the parents

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What do you call somebody who can't walk? Handicapped

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If you watch a pregnancy backwards, it is about a baby that is inserted between the legs of a woman and is slowly broken down for energy and the remains are finally sucked up by a man's genitals. There isn't a joke.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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