What do you call a black man? Rob

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hwhy did the monkey fall out of the tree? he got shot. why did the other monkey fall out of the tree? he was nailed to the first one.

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Why did a girl get an STD? She had sex.

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What happened to the boy with no family? He died in a tragic car accident along with his family

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there were two cyclists cycling down a main road in china at exactly the same time and exactly the same pace, one being chinese and the other irish. why did the irish man get stopped and the chinese man not? because the irish man had in fact raped and murdered a young child in his native home town and then fled the country to china.

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what did the black guy ge for christmas? a speeding ticket

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Why didn't Jane go to school last Thursday? It was summer. No one went to school last Thursday.

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What's worse than burning your tongue drinking hot chocolate? Being shanked by a homeless man.

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What did the kid with no legs get for Christmas? A new pair of shoes

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A man had two kids who he loved very much but would always come home in a bad mood. On a Friday after returning home, he tells his wife, "I hate my life," then proceeds to take his anger out on her. If you were expecting for this to be a joke, then you clearly have some messed up humor. Abuse in the household isn't to be taken lightly.

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What's brown and sticky? A black man covered in syrup.

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Q: Why does Billy get bullied at school? A: Because he has Down's Syndrome

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How do you kill a dumb blonde? Stab them in the chest 43 times.

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Yo mama's so fat, she died of a mixture of obesity and type 1 diabetes.

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roses are red, violets are red, ive been shot in the eye with a pelet gun, please ,please help

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Q:what do you get when you get when you cross a dog and a human A: a human-dog hybrid with AIDS

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what happened to the little girl when she crossed the line she was shot. shes mexican

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there are two muffins in an oven one muffin says "whoa, its hot in here!" the other says nothing, because it is a muffin, and the other muffin, in reality, said nothing either.

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Hey Johnny what's after 2?? 3.

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why did Kanye interrupt Taylor Swift at the VMA's? because he had a little too much scotch before the ceremony

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Why can't a T-rex clap its hands? It's extinct.

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why didn't sue come to her son's baseball game? because he doesn't play baseball, he lost his arms in a horrible plane crash. besides, sue died in that accident anyway.

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Roses are blue Violets are red Sugar are you And so is sweet

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A hard-working man, in his early forties with slightly graying hair, arrives to work earlier every day. He values integrity and dedication. His loving wife is proud of his accomplishments and her favorite part of the day is when he arrives home from a day at the office. He is close friends with the Director of HR, because he believes that we all should be respected and treated fairly on the job. Today, there is a board meeting, which he prepared for extensively, because he cares deeply about what happens to this great company. His boss greets him after the meeting is done and says, "Great job, that presentation was even better than yours usually are." It was a very long meeting, so they both end up going to the Men's Room. What does he say when his boss corners him near the urinals and demands sex? Nothing. He doesn't like to talk during sex.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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