I've got some good news an some bad news. The good new is that you just won 10 million dollars! The bad news is I'm just kidding.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

how do you know if a fish is gay? you ask it

thumb_up thumb_down +12

How do you fit 100 dead babies in a box? A blender. How do you get them out? Tortilla Chips. hehehehehehe

thumb_up thumb_down +12

I wish there were a city named Sample. So that the sign can say "Urine Sample"

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He got hit in the head with a brick.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A deaf man walks into a bar. A few minutes later, cops come in and takes the poor man into the cop car and takes him downtown to the precinct for booking. Meanwhile, back in the bar the deaf man drinks his beer and converses with the bartender in sign language.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear. Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair. Fuzzy Wuzzy launched a flare. Nobody came.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did one Japanese man say to the other? I don't know, I don't speak Japanese.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

You can pick your friends, you can pick your nose, but you can't divide by zero.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

How do you scare a blonde? Paint yourself yellow and call yourself big bird.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Get a life besides thumbing down statements telling you advice.........

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Jimmy Saville

thumb_up thumb_down +10

yo mama just like a toilet, white and full of crap!

thumb_up thumb_down +10

have you seen stevie wonder's house. no? Well nethier has he you

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Q. why did the girl fall off the swing? A. Because she had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Q: Why did the black man drown? A: Because he couldn't swim.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A horse walks into a bar and the bar asks "Why the long face?". The horse replies " I am deeply troubled by the anthropomorphic aspects of my existence and the extent to which I am now protected by law."

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What is brown and smells like sh!t Actual sh!t

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A man came home one day, drunk and feeling horny. He proceeded to the bedroom where he found his wife just getting into bed in a lace bra and sexy underwear. This turned him on even more so he cuddled up to her and whispered seductivly in her ear before kissing her neck. His wife was not in the mood for sex so she shot him

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What is blue and has blue shoes? A blue shoe box

thumb_up thumb_down +10

there were two cyclists cycling at a steady pace down a main road in china, one irish and the other chinese. now they happened to be cycling at exactly the same time and exactly the same pace. why did the irish cyclist get pulled over and the chinese not? because the irish cyclist had in fact brutally raped and murdered a young child in his home town and then fled the country to china.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

how big is a black mans penis? idk ask his wife

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why didn't the 1 month old chicken cross the road? Because by that time it's already a Mcnugget.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

how do you kill a bird? tie it to a tree throw a wasp nest at it and run the tree over with a semi filled with manure

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops