what did the duck with roller skates say to the camel? how are the wife and kids?

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Q: Why was the little boy late for school? A: His face was stapled to a wall.

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A man was about to be assassinated. The assassin said "do you have any last wishes? The man said he wished that a meteor would fly down and kill the assassin. A meteor actually did come down but that was predicted years back. The meteor fell on the assassin and killed him, the man, and any living thing aboveground on Earth.

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What do George Washington, JFK and Hillary Clinton have in common? They've never been to my house.

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Why did the Mexican cross the border? To get into the USA for a better lifestyle.

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Why did John get hard? He froze to death

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"I see London; I see France..." "Wow. You must have exceptional eyesight."

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Steve Jobs is alive.

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How many blondes does it take to screw a lightbulb? There's too little information to come up with a reasonable answer.

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a black guy a mexican guy and a puerto rican guy are driving together in a car whos driving? Whoevers car it is.

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hey guess what? what ur gay! how did you know ive been in the closet for 5 years!?

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Why wasn't the black man served at the bar? Because they didn't serve his kind there... Did I say black guy? I meant to say a horse, wait, did I say bar? I meant the barn, yes, a horse walks into a barn but they couldn't serve him because he wasn't tamed

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Why did the chiken cross the road? idk, i can't talk to chikens

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Me:Oh wait, I got a joke! Friends:Oh boy, what is it? Tell us! Me:..my grandma died.. *Everyones silent* Some random guy:Oh haha, I get it! Me:Shut up, you have no friends. Some random guy: Oh........

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How do you cut the sea in half? You can't. There are an odd amount of letters. You would have to jeopardize the "e", but then it would no longer be "sea".

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How do you call a guy that ran over 10 children A bad driver

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got hit by a truck.

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What's worst than a worm in your apple? Finding your mom in a porno.

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why'd the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead. why;d the banana fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the monkey.

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Your mother is so dumb, that she had a very poor ACT composite score.

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Did you hear about the man who played the lottery? He lost.

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GOODBYE

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I walk in to a bar, ask for a beer, get drunk, walk away and.... hmmm.. how could I finish the joke??..

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Your momma's so fat: She feels uncomfortable in public due to current trends in ideal body shape and aesthetics of beauty.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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