Why does Ray Charles always smile? Because he doesn't know he's black.

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A women in the kitchen.

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Why was billy bad at telling jokes? Billy was sexually abused as a child and humour was never really part of his life

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? I lost my tractor.

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What's 1+5 2+4 3+3 4+2 5+1 Whats 6+1 If you said 6 you're stupid.

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Why is Stevie Wonder always smiling? Because he's usually in a good mood.

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What happened when the president cut the hedge That is a highly improbable solution because he would probably have a body guard do it.

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Fight fire with with fire! That would be impossible, it'd just make the fire bigger. And probably kill you.

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Why didn't Clemson accept John Burns' college application? Because John Burns was wanted for five counts of first degree murder.

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there were two cyclists cycling at a steady pace down a main road in china, one irish and the other chinese. now they happened to be cycling at exactly the same time and exactly the same pace. why did the irish cyclist get pulled over and the chinese not? because the irish cyclist had in fact brutally raped and murdered a young child in his home town and then fled the country to china.

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Whats worse than Lindsey Lohans vagina? Nothing.

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An Irishman walked into a pub.... He never left.

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How many candles did Johnny blow out on his birthday cake? The same number of candles which corresponds to his age.

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Knock Knock. who's there? James. well use the doorbell.

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Q. Which famous celebrity has had the most children over the last 10 years? A. Michael Jackson

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Why was the man walking down the street late at night? Because he's homeless and has nowhere to stay.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a worm in your BANANA.

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If you have $5 and Chuck Norris has $5, Chuck Norris now has $10.

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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What's the only thing better than winning a gold medal in the special olympics? Not being retarded.

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Two pen state administrators walk into a butt

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whats the diffrence between a lawnmower and a sack of dead babies? I dont have a lawnmower in my garage

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Why wouldn't Helen Keller be able to drive if she was alive today? She would be inside her coffin not knowing how to get out

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Why did silly Miss Sally put her baby in the dishwasher? Because she was suffering from advanced stages of Schizophrenia. She thought that her baby was a dish. Her mother, Carol watched in horror as her granddaughter was placed inside. A tear dribbled from her eye. Things had been bad, but because Sally was her daughter, she had been tolerant. Carol sobbed as the baby screamed in terror, unable to escape. Finally, Carol, tears in her eyes, called Child Protective Services on her own daughter, something she didn't want to do. When CPS representatives finally came, they were horrified at the sight of a screaming baby covered in suds with burnt skin that had been scorched by hot jets. Sally's baby, Alex was taken from her and put into foster care.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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