Q: whats white and smells like shit A: my ass

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What do you call a man with only one eye? Half blind.

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An old bear-wrestler dies and finds himself at the pearly gates. Confused and at a loss for words due to the unfamiliar circumstance and lack of public toilets, he blurts out "Saint Peter, I presume?" but it was just the train conductor. "Ticket please." He searched his pockets and finally found the ticket. He wished he had a dog, but not a seeing-eye dog because people would assume he was blind. This story illustrates the importance of situational awareness, remembering which pocket you put your ticket in, and not forgetting to go before you leave because you don't know when you'll be able to find a restroom.

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My house is on fire I'll probably die posting this joke

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Three guys walk into a bar. First guy goes up to the bartender and orders a beer. Second guy goes up and orders 2 beers. Third guy sits down and saves seats for the other two guys.

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What goes in dry and comes out wet and sticky? Bubble Gum

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what did the man say to the other man he bumped into? sorry. and they never saw eachother again

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A man in a state penitentiary drops his soap. He then picks it up and continues his shower.

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what did the man say to the doctor? how the hell would i know, ask him yourself.

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How was my day, you ask? First of all, I don't own a day. And second of all, it hasn't ended.

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Why cant Stevie Wonder see his friends? Because he is married.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To collect it's AIDS medication.

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If a banana is a vegetable, how come your mother gets confused when I stick pretzels in my butthole?

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Why are gay guys so good at being gay? The black guys told them too.

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what is worse than 10 dead babies in a trash can? 11 dead babies in a trash can

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Knock knock Who's there? No one ever mentioned someone named "there" it's me, Jim

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Q: What did the black kid get for Chirstmas? A: Your bike

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Fruit loops.

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roses are red violets are blue flowers come in many colors

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Potassium? K.

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Knock knock Who's there? Overused punchline Overused punchline who? The Holocaust.

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Q: Why did Steve fall out of the tree A: He was raking the leaves

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Why did the Mexican mow the lawn? He needed money to feed his family and to pay for his daughter's college education.

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How do you get the neighborhood hoodlums to stop pushing you over in your wheelchair? Brutally murder their families in front of them.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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