Why did Johnny close the door on Sally's face? Because Johnny is a dick.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What do you get when you mix a refrigerator with a microwave? A refrigerated microwave.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did the little girl drop her balloon? Because she was getting raped in the face.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

It's a bird! No, it's a plane! No, it's actually a bird. You can see its wings flapping.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Reality is often boring. TV is often bad for you. Reality TV is boring AND bad for you.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

I walk into Tesco and wrestle an obese women for a packet of ''Mini's Biscuits''. This quarrel was over nothing but a trolley filled with them. I gradually became infuriated. Meanwhile, an employee commited suicide.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What do Justin Bieber and corn have in common? They are both fruits. Except for the corn.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

A woman with big boobs walks into a bar and gets raped

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What do you do to Jewish people? You Challah at them.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

what is funnier than a apple? a talking apple

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Whats The diference between a park bench and a black man? A park bench can support a family of five hahahhaahahah

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did the Mexican cross the road? Because he was late for his uncle's funeral, which was taking place in the church across from his apartment.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

what did George Washington say to his men before crossing the Delaware river? Get in the boat.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What's black and white and red all over and can't go through a revolving door? A nun with a spear stuck in her head.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Ice cream rules kids are great how thinks of this? Michael Jackson

thumb_up thumb_down -8

*The doctor walks in* Knock knock. Whos there? Doctor. Doctor Who?

thumb_up thumb_down -8

how do you know when you've had too much to drink? . . . when you're dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

why did the elephant cross the road? It was the chickens day off

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did the student fail his test? He forget to study for it the night before.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What happened when Glen jumped off a building? The rope snapped his neck. He died.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Roses are red, Violets are blue, MAKE ME EAT LEMONS, I ATE U!

thumb_up thumb_down -8

How many babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends on how hard you throw them.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

My mom always said that jumping in a pile of leaves was fun! That was before a 20 foot long iguana bit her head off...

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops