Knock Knock. Who's there? (knocker runs for life).

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What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the elephants over the hill.

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Two blondes were in a parking lot trying to unlock the door of their car with a coat hanger. They had left the keys inside and no-one was around to help.

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Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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Q: Whats horny and likes your leg? A: My dog.

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Don't chop the dinosaur daddy! OK.

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whats the difference between a baby and an onion? no one cries when u chop up a baby.

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Why did the monk shave his head? So he's more aerodynamic.

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What do you call a white guy sitting on a bench? The NBA.

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Q. What happened to the dog when he was kick in the privates? A. Nothing he was neutered a year ago.

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What do you call it when Justin Beiber has sex with a woman? Sex

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what would happen if every overweight person in america jumped at the same time? they would all get a little exercise.

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What is black and blue and red all over? A woman that just learned a valuable lesson.

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How do you torture Helen Keller? Give her a cheese-grater and tell her it's a book.

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So a guy walks up to a gay guy and says: "You are a fag." The gay guy says: "That is very offensive, you jerk." So the guy says: "Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know what it meant" and the gay guy says: "I accept your apology." Then the gay guy crosses the street and gets hit by a bus

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Who would win if Chuck Norris and God fought to the death? None they are both fictional.

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A horse, a duck, a pig, and a muslim walk into bar. The horse ducks, the duck's hoarse, the pig's in a blanket, and the muslim has a can, being surprised at how far a can can preach hate in chicago. The bartender reminds the muslim that he is keeping company with a swine, and the muslim feels offended for the poor horse.

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Q) What did one chicken say to the other? A) Nothing. Chickens can't talk.

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What do you call a person driving a plane? Not a pilot, they fly planes.

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Who cured cancer? Not God. What do you think of the almighty now?

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i saw amango it splootered

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What is black and white and has 4 wheels? A zebra, I lied about the wheels

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Why was the school girl called a dork. Because a whale penis is called a dork, and she identically resembles a giant aquatic dick.

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What do you call a woman with one leg shorter than the other? Whatever her name is.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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