A horse walks into a bar and the bartendor says "Why the long face?" The horse replies "My wife was just diagnosed with cancer and given only a week to live."

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

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What do you call a white guy in a mostly black neighborhood? His name.

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Why did Suzy fall off the swing? As Suzy neared the ground while swinging, her foot caught a small hole in the swingset's pebble foundation, and the power of Suzy's momentum along with the sudden stop of Suzy's swing forced Suzy to fly forward off of the swing. Suzy, seeing the silliness of her mistake, laughed it off, and tried to get back up. She quickly realized that her leg had snapped in half. Suzy will never walk again.

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What sits on a shelf and says hey im a book? A person who thinks hes a book.

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How do you make a 5 year old cry? Kill their parents.

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Wanna hear a joke? Zeke friends Wanna hear a better jokes? Zeke with his friends

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Bob: I have a funny knock knock joke, but you have to start it. Joe: Ok. Knock Knock. Bob: Who's there? Joe: Uhhhhhhh Bob: Exactly.

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A man walks in to a bar with a frog stapled to his head. The bar tender says What the heck is that. The frog says I don't know this thing has been coming out of my but for two days

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Did you hear about the Mexican boy scout that helped that old lady cross the border.

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What's the difference between a Obama and a drug-dealer? I don't know what? I don't know, I was asking if you know...

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I'm not saying my mother-in-law is fat, because she is anorexic.

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A car with three black people in it is driven off a cliff and everyone dies. Why is this a tragedy? Because it is always a tragedy when human life is lost.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It had gotten out of its coop.

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Where do you find a dead hooker? where you left her.

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Son: i like gaming Mom: you are wasting your life *son jumps in trash can

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what did the kid with no hair get for christmas? cancer.

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What's harder to pick up, a football or an anvil? It doesn't matter when you lost your fingers in 'nam.

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Roses are red, Violates are blue. I have an erection, and its lasted more then three hours

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A man walks into a bar, he sits down.

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Yo momma was so ugly that everybody died.

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What did the black man buy at the store? Nothing he has no money

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Why couldnt hellen keller drive because she was a women

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I once shot an elephant in my pajamas. I suffer from a debilitating sleep disorder.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops