How do you get McFly into a Mini? McFly are a four member band and a mini has four seats so it's actually quite straightforward.

Q: What do you call a pair of dead babies lying on the ground? A: Slippers

What's the difference between apples and oranges? You can't wash a window with a spade.

Ross.

Why did seven eat nine? Because six was afraid of him.

jack be nimble jack be quick jack is a parapeligic.....there's no need for more

a black guy, mexican guy, and asian guy race to hop over a window. Who was the LAST one to hop it? the mexican because he had to clean it first.

What do you call a jew in an oven? A safety hazard

why was the tricycle lonely? the mom back over the kid in the driveway.

A duck walks into a bar. The duck walks over to the bartender and orders a beer. "put it on my bill." he says. The bartender angrily grabs the duck and kicks him out of the bar, because the duck has done this many times, but has never once paid his bill to the bar. The duck is an alcoholic and is slowly ruining his relationship with his family.

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Not only did 7 have that intimidating look to him, but 6 had recently found out that he was a well known mob boss who also went by the name of Lucky Seven. he was in charge of a gang called The Prime Numbers. They had been terrorizing 6's city for sometime now, whether it was stealing, mugging, or even killing or vandalism. 6 sure had a lot to fear, but he knew things might turn out well, as 6 had a great ability to try his best and do what he believed in: Justice

There once was a man from Peru, Who dreamed he was eating his shoe, When he woke up one night he discovered with fright, That the friendly old neighbor from next door had broken into his house with a chain saw in an alcohol-induced murder attempt.

A man name Bill works 12 hours a day at a warehouse, almost everyday a week. It is a hard job but Bill does it to support his beautiful wife of many years. Bill thinks the long hard days are worth every moment he gets to spend with her. One night, after a hard day, he comes home to find another man in bed with his wife. Bill begins to sob and yell "I work 12 hours a day at a warehouse....." His wife yells back. "We already read this part, get to the punchline".

What did the black man do to the white woman? I Dont KNow ask him

Yo Mama's so fat when she fell out of the tree she hit the ground very, very hard.

How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Sarah, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and even though she is a little sweaty At the moment, you realize what a beautiful woman she really is. You decide to ask her to marry You, and after she says yes, you two make passionate love in the front seat Of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

What do you call a over weight woman? Fat bitch.

What do you get when you cross a Minotaur with a snowman? A cold mythological creature.

Whats worse then dieing and going to hell? Waking up and going to school.

Knock Knock Who's there? You You Who? Yes? Can I help you madam?

What's sad about 3 black people going over a cliff in a Cadillac? Cadillac's seat 6

why did tom shut his bedroom door? grandma was fingering herself

whats something naked and nailed to a cross? jesus, idiot.

your mom is so fat that when she walks in America with a yellow coat as they get a taxi

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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