Why was the little girl crying. Her dad wiped his bloody penis with her teddybear.

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How do you double any amount of cash? Stack it up and fold it in half.

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What's red and bad for your teeth? a brick.

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why did the man leave his house during a state of emergency? he didnt

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Chris Brown can do no wrong. False he acquired several wrongs through his mistreatment of several women.

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whats worse than forgetting your lunch at home? getting diagnosed with type 1 diabetes.

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Guns dont kill people...whoever pulled the trigger kills people

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Why is the old lady crying? I threw a fridge at her.

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Why did the jewish family move? Their house burnt down. They lost everything and was tragic

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Roses are red, Violets are dead, I've climbed through your window, I'm under your bed.

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Roses are blue Violets are too I've got Alzheimer Roses are red

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knock knock whos there? ughh omg youre dying what yeah dear god ok ill call 911 no im fine its just a seizure ok get well soon

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?" The horse does not reply as it is a horse and horses cannot speak. The bartender realises his stupid mistake and calls the farm the horse came from. The horse is taken back to the farm and fed some hay. The bartender carries on living his life and then dies of natural causes at a very old age.

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Why did the Polish man cross the road? Because the doctors was across the road, and he had a doctor appointment in five minutes time.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where is my tractor?

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A man goes to his doctor and says, "Help me, my wife thinks she's a chicken." The doctor recommends a nearby psychiatrist to analyze the wife's mental instability, and inevitably she is housed in an insane asylum. The husband commits suicide.

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How did the girl cross the road? -She didn't, she died because she was blind and didn't see the "don't walk" sign.

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Why did the fat guy pick up a noodle from the floor with his buttcheeks? He felt like pasta.

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Fuzzy Wuzzy was bear, Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair, and died of cancer

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, as it was a busy highway it was hit before making it to halfway.

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Roses are red Violets are red Grass is red OMFG MY LAWN IS ON FIRE !!!?

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10 mexicans were driving in a car and went off a cliff. what happend? No one cares.

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Q: What did the cop do when he saw a mexican in his car? A: Nothing, he was looking in a mirror.

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What's the difference between a Ferrari and 50 dead babies? Where the hell would you even find 50 dead babies? That would be really disturbing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops