What's the difference between a dead baby and a tire iron? I've never forcibly expelled three tire irons from my vagina.

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Q why did the girl scream A she got hit with an axe

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Me:Oh wait, I got a joke! Friends:Oh boy, what is it? Tell us! Me:..my grandma died.. *Everyones silent* Some random guy:Oh haha, I get it! Me:Shut up, you have no friends. Some random guy: Oh........

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A white police officer pulled over a black guy on the highway. The cop asked him for license and registration. The black guy had a tail light out, and was very polite and cooperative. The two became close friends, but then one night, the black guy went to the house of the white cop. The black guy brought his wife and daughter over for a dinner party, eating grilled turkey sandwiches with mayonnaise. When the cop's attractive wife asked the black guy if he would like some fresh watermelon from the patch in their back yard, he respectfully declined, for he needed to return to his own home to patiently wait for a business call from one of his employees, who was also a very intelligent and hard working African male. Once home, the black guy turned on his stereo, to listen to some calming country music at an appropriately low level of volume, as his daughter and wife had gone to sleep, for the wife also had work in the morning, at her law firm, and her daughter had a job interview after her day of classes at Dartmouth were out for the day... then Martin Luther King Jr. woke up from his dream, and was soon thereafter assassinated.

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blargen fa-diddle nachen!

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How many blondes does it take to screw a lightbulb? There's too little information to come up with a reasonable answer.

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What's the difference between a blonde and a brunette? The pigmentation of their hair follicles.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Dave. Dave who? Dave was beginning to get very scared of his best friend at this time, so he ran away panicking.

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Who is that? That is my daughter, She likes climbing trees.

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Why did the man say "huh?" Because he didn't hear what they said.

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Q.What do you call a man with no arms, no legs, no head, and no blood in his body? A.Dead.

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What did the Irish nun say on her deathbed? "I now realize that smoking was an unhealthy habit and I regret that I made the choice to do so." Then she died

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Beans, beans, the magical fruit. The more you eat, the more you have consumed.

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How do you call a guy that ran over 10 children A bad driver

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What's John Lennon doing these days? Decomposing.

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What fruit is used to make apple juice? Apples

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What's the quickest way to a person's heart? A knife

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2 moose sitting in a tree, suddenly there came a boat and landed in the tree next to them, then said one of the moose, he probably lives there

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You go to the Anti Joke website, what do you find under the "newest" section? Black jokes.

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“DTF”? Says Will. “No” says Harper.

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Ok so im on antijoke.com and they tell me i can write my own joke... so i did.

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Whats the best part about having sex with 25 year olds? There 20 of them.

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What did the leperchaun get at the bake sale? baked goods.

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How do you stop a little boy from annoying you? You chop his balls of. Why was the little boy sad? Because someone chopped his balls off.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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