A guy is at a party and he's really thirsty, so he goes to get a drink. He goes to get some soda, but the line is too long. He goes to get some water, but the line is also too long. He goes to get some punch, and it turns out there's no punch line.

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Why did the kid lay down? Because his legs were chopped off

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Q: Why was the little boy late for school? A: His face was stapled to a wall.

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What do George Washington, JFK and Hillary Clinton have in common? They've never been to my house.

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Why did Julie fall off a swing? 'Cause she had no hands. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Julie, that's certain.

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What's the difference between a dead baby and my dinner??? Nothing...

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whats wores than eating a vag. a gaint vag eating you.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Ken. Can I some and use your toilet, I really need a shit.

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there were ten in the bed and the little one said roll over so they all rolled over and one fell out then got back up and punched the little one in the face saying good night

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What did the cat say when it was hungry? Meow.

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Your mother is so fat that she has to undergo amputation of her foot because of type 2 diabetes.

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What came first? The chicken or the egg? The egg, because breakfast comes before dinner.

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Q. What's yellow and looks like a duck? A. a baby duck

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What fruit is used to make apple juice? Apples

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What happened when the young child fell off of the swing? He broke open his head causing him to be sent to the hospital for 3 weeks.

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Why did the girl fall off of the swings? Because I threw a refrigerator at her.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got hit by a truck.

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If pro- is good or favored and con- is bad, then why do people favor the constitution and stay away from prostitution?

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Knock, Knock Come in

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. He got hit by a semi.

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"Knock-knock." "Come in, sorry that the doorbell is broken."

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead! Why did the bird fall out of the tree? It was attatched to the monkey! Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? .....................peer pressure

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you walk into a bar Griffin: 'are you ok'

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How do you kill a blonde? Stab her with a knife.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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