The other day I went into the bathroom to take a poo, It was Glorious I flushed the toilet and everything.

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a pope and priest walk into a bar what's the first thing they say? OUCH my head

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Q: What do you say when you see your T.V. floating at night? A: That's so frickin awesome

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Q. What's big, green, has four legs, fuzzy, and if fell out of a tree would kill you? A. A pool table

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting a girl pregnant.

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in·fun·dib·u·lum? 1. a funnel-shaped organ or part. 2. a funnel-shaped extension of the hypothalamus connecting the pituitary gland to the base of the brain. 3. a space in the right ventricle at the base of the pulmonary artery.

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What do you call a someone who steals from a black guy? A thief.

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Man one: Why does the moon look like a face? Man two: I don't know, why? Man one: I don't know either, that's why i asked....

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Q.How many blonds does it take to change a light bulb? A.1

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Know what's worst than getting raped by a giant scorpion? Obama

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Oracle horacle, you big bloated boracle!

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? 9,405 licks (this may not be reliable I lost count since I kinda just bit it)

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why wouldn't the man's car work? because it was broken.

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What did the white man say to the black bartender? I'll have a pint please.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? it doesn't matter, it got turned into KFC before it crossed.

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A grandfather clock fucked my bicycle!

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What happend to the girl in the corner? Idk that's why I asked!! :P

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What is the oppisite of water? Dry!

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What do you call a pig that knows karate? A pig, because even if a pig could learn karate its still a pig.

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what did the jew say to the other jew in WWII?..... "We're both going to die."

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A Jew walks into a bar. It's a bar full of Neo-Nazis.

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The speakers on my computer were broken, so I was going to replace them with John Boehner. Because he is the SPEAKER of the house.

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cool

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In the attic lights Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Lights, voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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