What did one muffin say to the other muffin Holy shit a talking muffin

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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How many apes does it take to put in a light bulb 3

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A Blonde Goes On "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire"

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roses are red violets are blue you smell like poo I F*****G HATE YOU!

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Banana. Banana who? I'm a talking banana; what more do you want from me?

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Why did the man apologize to the other man, after he had hit him with an axe? He didn't. The man was dead.

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An anti-Semite, a Jew and an American walked into the bar. The barman said: "Hi, Sara".

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A black man and a Mexican man are in the back of a car. Who's driving? Not enough information to answer this question.

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I'm schizophrenic and so am I. I also happen suffer from multiple personality disorder. Schizophrenia refers to separation of mental functions, manifesting in anti-social behavior and delusions, and is unrelated to the separate disorder of dissociative identity disorder, popularly known as multiple personality disorder, characterized by at least two distinct and enduring identities and dissociated personality states. Both are crippling to normal behavior and function due to lack of public awareness and funding. Now get out of our ghost train or we'll cut you.

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Q:Whats yellow and white and sits at the bottom of a pool? A: A baby with slashed floaties Q:Whats red and gory and sits at the top of a pool? A: Floaties with a slahed baby

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What's the difference between a black man and a bench? A bench is nonsentient, generally heavier and not necessarily light-dark brown colored, whereas the black man is fully capable of thinking and usually has dark toned skin.

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Ed has spent all his days on the farm. It was the farm of his father and grandfather before him; long have they prospered from the fruits of this land. He has a wife and 3 beautiful children, all of whom live happily on the farm. Ed still manages to keep an active social life, and has lots of interesting friends. His best friend is Moe. As a young man, Ed had spent a few years living in the city for his studies. Moe lives in the city, and he knows Ed from College. One day, Moe came out to the farm to have lunch with his old friend. After lunch, he and Ed took a walk around the farm. They passed by the horses, the chickens, the pigs and finally they came to the cows. Ed looked at Moe, and he saw that he was focused intently on a single cow. "What's the matter, Moe?" he asked. "That," Moe said, "is one skinny cow."

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Whats worse the losing your 3 kids, your lovely beautiful wife, and your trusty dog, all your belongings and in a house fire while you're at work? Nothing

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What do you call a black man on the moon?? Never going to happen

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what's the difference between an abortion clinic and my basement? there are more dead fetuses in my basement

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a man walks into a casino, it's the third time this week and he's contemplating suicide.

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Why did the man hit the little boy? His brakes failed.

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What's long, dark, and smelly? The unemployment line.

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69

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What is yellow, has wheels and lies on its back? A school bus after a horrible traffic accident.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I've got a gun, get in the van.

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My Friend Philip had his lip removed today. he is just Phil now.

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When is a door not a door? When it is thrown away. Then, it will likely decompose in a landfill or be recycled into another product. In either case, it will no longer be a door.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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