Roses are red, violets are blue shut the hell up, and sit the hell down

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what looks about a computer which has two wheels? a bike. i lied about the computer...

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why did the black boy start crying when he was taking a dump? He thought he was melting

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How do you keep an elephant from charging? Ask nicely.

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What was Hellen Keller's favorite color? Velcro.

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What did the clock say to the book? I have no batteries.

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 has AIDS.

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What's the difference between your mom and a table? The table isn't a whore.

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Whats white and black and red all over? A panda that has just been shot by a poacher.

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whats black white and red all over an abused child

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Why was the blonde on the train tracks? Because she was tied up by a madman on crack.

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Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A.Because that's where it wanted to go.

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What type of party do you throw when your fat? A baby shower.

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What do chicken and babies have in common? They both taste like chicken.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs, who got cancer for Christmas, get for his Birthday? Nothing, he didn't live that long.

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What did the homosexual give in his secret box? important papers from work.

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What do you call a man whos had his arms ripped off in front of you? An ambulance, because with an injury such as this, you can die anywhere between 10 and 45 minutes

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm using my hand but thinking of you.

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What happens when two elephants go out in the rain? They get wet.

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What's cooler than being cool? An object at absolute zero

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knock knock whos there? jew jew who ? jew son o a b**** ? (aimed at ight wing racist jews)

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1500 Jews were ordered to walk a straight path whilst in the midst of a blizzard. How close did they ever get to the end? What end? They marched until every last bit of their rotten Jew flesh was driven from their weak bodies. --Amon Goeth

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What did the man say to the other man? I have a large rod

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The President, The Pope, and a small child are all in an airplane when the pilot announces that the plane is going to crash. They crash into the ocean and quickly remember that there is a life vest under their seats, which they promptly put on and safely inflate after exiting the cabin of the aircraft by pulling down on one or both of the red tabs.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops