Why didn't the octopus have any friends? Because they are antisocial creatures by nature. -Louis

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What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the elephants over the hill.

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I like my babies how I like my chips. Chopped up and in a bag.

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Twelve billion Nero, you puppy dog you hot blooded latino man. Why cant I control it myself?

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Who would win, Chuck Norris or a T-Rex? The T-Rex, Chuck Norris would get ripped apart like any other human-being.

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How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? Two. One to change the bulb, one to suck my dick!

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Why did the Alzheimer's patient fail the history exam? I don't remember.....

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An Englishman, a Scotsman and a Welshman are all in the Great Britain Olympic squad,

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A: What dose God listen to? B: Slayer. A: Trick Question, God=Slayer

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Yo momma so fat that she was diagnosed with obesity and may need medical assistance in the future and will be reliant on you, her child.

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What did the Insomniac, Dyslexic Priest do? He stayed up all night wondering if there really is a Dog.

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Yo Mama's so fat when she fell out of the tree she hit the ground very, very hard.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was blind and deaf.

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Q: What is the first thing you do if you wake up and meet the entire justice league(!!!) Which tells you that you are the "chosen one" and that only you can save the world once your true powers awaken? A: Increase your schizo medication.

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Word Problem Q.John has 32 candy bars. He eats twenty eight of them. What does he have now? A. Diabetes. John has Diabetes.

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Why did the dog lick his balls? Because he can.

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why can't Amy ride on the rollercoaster? Because she's under the height limit.

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Three men are walking, the first one walks into a bar. He has a couple of drinks because he is depressed. He drives home, drunk, and dies in a car accident. His wife finds out and hangs herself.

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What is long, hard, cries a lot, and can't fall down a man-hole? A baby with a javelin through its neck.

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A fish didn't walk into a bar, because fish cannot walk.

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You know what's a real drag? A club foot

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What did Helen Keller name her dog? ruh-ruh-blah-blah-bluh

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What's yellow and smells like cheese? Cheese.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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