how to name your chinese kid. throw a spoon dow the stairs

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There once was a girl who took away my source of entertainment. Her name was Nicole.

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Q: Why didn't Little Jhonny go to school today? A: There was no school today.

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Pickup line: Hey babe, do you work at Mcdonalds? Because I don't have a job, are you hiring?

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Knock knock. Who's there? To To Who? To Whom.

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How do you get a person to jump off a cliff? You push them.

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Ask me if I am a tree. "Are you a tree?" No.

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Yo mama so fat she runs the risk of stroke, heart disease, or diabetes

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A horse walked into a bar. The bar was part of the fence he was enclosed by.

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What's the opposite of a joke? An anti-joke. You're reading one right now.

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Roses are red Violets go poo My name is Dave How bout u

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What's worse than a dead baby joke? A dead baby.

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Q:Whats worse then hard nipples A:The holocaust

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Why was the black man pulled over on his way to KFC? Because he ran a red light.

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Why does Santa Clause not have any children? Because he only cums once a year.

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What's green and hangs from trees? Leafs

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This night was a stormy one, alot was destroyed, but the spirit of Little Jonny Harrison lived on with a shining light so strong it could blind some. Jonny lived in Ristoville, a village atop a hill. Citizens of Ristoville were frightened for their lives, all but Jonny. He was bullied from a young age of 3 months, by his Uncle Clive, who was a Catholic Priest, full-time. Fear shined in the eyes of the normal residents, whilst, in Jonny's heart, there glowed a glow of pure hope and confidence, Jonny Harrison, was going into the storm. Jonny knew he could amount to something, if he really really tried. He has 6 years behind him, and a long life ahead, and he figured, what's the worst that could happen? He pondered this, and ultimately came to the conclusion that there will be nothing worse out there than Uncle Clive's "Magical Basement of Happiness". Jonny sat his mother down, looked her in the eye and whispered farewell. He wished his father the best wishes possible. Finally, Rosie Harrison, Jonny's sweet old Grandmother, who had been addicted to Crystal Meth for about 25 years now and been through 13 interventions and countless failed suicide attempts, opened her ears to young Jonathon's speech, he said softly in her ear, the words, "Hang in there, Gran. I know you can pull through, I may be only six but I sure as heck know how much i care for you.". The words of love echoed in her fragile little ears as Jonny walked away. He took with him a couple cartons of Ribena and his lucky medal and took his first step outside. He took out a carton of Ribena, strongly crumpled it up, slightly spraying fruit juice on his dungarees, and threw it to the wet grass. He faced the towering lightning cloud and shouted, "Nothing will stop me!". Jonny died shortly after of AIDS. His Uncle Clive was sentence to 5 years in a high security prison for child molestation and consistant child abuse and paedophillia. Rosie Harrison died later that day.

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roses are red violets are blue show me your bed i wanna fuck you oh and roses are red violets are blue nice tits.

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How do you put an elephant in a fridge? Open it up and stick him in. How do you put a giraffe in a fridge? Take out the elephant and put in the giraffe.

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men's rights activists

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Heard about the dyslexic fellow who sold his soul to Santa? That worked out OK, but Christmas was hell.

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So Colton Yepma walks in to Accounting and proceeds to read jokes

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Yellow People !!

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If an ugly person got raped. What would that be called? Nothing. It is never gonna happen. Kelvin Yang.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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