I am paralyzed from the neck down.

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Go away still nothing to see

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Banana. Banana who? I'm a talking banana; what more do you want from me?

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead.

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If you have three ice-cream cones, and you give away two, how many do you have left? Why would you give away your ice-cream? Eating it is the better option.

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Three men were on a plane. Oh wait. You probably already heard this one.

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Why did the teacher fall on her face? She was shot in the back of her head.

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Yellow People !!

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Knock knock. Who's there? You. You who? That's the joke.

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A horse and a penguin and a kangaroo come into a bar and order drinks from the bartender, who later gets fired for taking acid while working.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Why? Because she has no arms. Knock. Knock. Who's there? Not Sally

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Why was the Saudi Arabian terrorist flying a plane in America? He was going to visit some family on a ranch in Kansas.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Big Brother. Big Brother who? That's right. ALL are who, Akbar!

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Q:How do you sleep with Paris Hilton? A:You don't. she got herpes.

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My ex wife looks like a pitbull.

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What's worse than strapping 10 dead baibes to a tree? Strapping a dead baby to 10 trees.

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How do you kill a Chinese hobo Shoot him

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Weaner

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How many babys does it take to paint a wall red? 7 and 24 paint brushes cause babys need do overs

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What do you call a deer in the wild? a deer

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Why did seven eat nine? Because six was afraid of him.

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A man walks into a bar and notices a twelve inch tall man playing a small piano. He asks the bartender about it. The bartender explains that the pianist has worked there for some time, mostly performing on weeknights. The bartender also tells the man that he may be suffering some vision problems, as the pianist is about 5'8" or 5'9". Some time later the man visits an optometrist and finds out he has a severe case of astigmatism.

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a black guy walks into a bar and sits next to a white guy. White guy: "I don't like your kind here". Black guy: "what kind wound that be"? White guy: "the colored kind". The black guy turns away then looks back at the white guy and says", When I'm born I'm black, when I die I'm black, When I'm cold I'm black, and when I'm sick I'm black. You ( to the white guy ) when your born your pink, when you die your blue, when your cold your purple, and when your sick your green and your calling me colored???

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Why did the baby fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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