A leper sees that a woman has dropped a bag of groceries on the sidewalk. "Hey ma'am, can I give you a HAND?" asks the leper. "No thank you, sir. I can manage." replies the woman. "That's a relief," laughs the leper, shyly. "I am quite weak due to leprocy."

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Q: How many cancer patients does it take to change a lightbulb? A: None, they are too weak to climb the ladder.

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Why was the pizza mad? Because he was going thorough a growth spurt and the testosterone got to him.

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how many large people can you fit in a bath tub ... 1/16

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John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt has a really long name.

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Q: Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? A: Because he had bladder control problems and feared he may ruin the first pair.

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Three girls are walking in the woods they see tracks one thinks it is a bear the other thinks it is a deer the last one thinks it is a lion They all argue till they get hit by a train and realized they were train tracks

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Why did the girl cry? i took her happy meal.

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What was John Lennon's last hit? The pavement.

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Knock knock Who's there? To To whom? No, its To Who now, since I married

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A man walks into a bar............. The bar explodes and everyone dies

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-Is your refrigerator running? -Yes. -Just wondering.

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What do you call it, when a jew makes fun of a black guy? Racism.

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bob lost his camouflage bag. he never found it.

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Knock knock. Its open.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. -Knock Knock. -Who's there? -Not Sally.

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What's blck and blue and doesn't like sex? The ten year old in my car.

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Why did the black man kill himself? Because he had a very serious case of depression brought on by his recent divorce

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Guess whats in my hand. Can you guess? A gun. Bam bam, you're dead. Haha

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What did the captain say to the priest? We're on a boat.

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What happens if a Muslim leaves their bag on a bus? They quickly return onto the bus and get it.

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What did the tractor say to the farmer? Nothing, tractors don't talk

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What do joe greene and joe biden have in common? Their first name

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Your mama is so fat, we are all severely concerned for her health

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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