There was a blonde driving a car but she was late to a meeting so she started speeding but then a police officer pulls her over. The officer asked the blonde "Do you know how fast you were going?" to which the blonde responded "Yes, I am late to a meeting" so the police gives a ticket for speeding and she ends up going late to her meeting.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Although I guess there is probably no way to get on the swing with no arms unless there was another person there to aid you in the process, and that is highly unlikely because nobody wants to hang out with a girl with no arms. Still even if Suzie was helped on to the swing she wouldn't be able to swing because of her lack of arms. Maybe that person who helped her on pushed the swing with her on it bearing in mind she has no arms. In that case Suzie should stop hanging out with that person because they are very sadistic to deliberately shove a girl with no arms off a swing.

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What time is it? It depends in your location and time zone

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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If you call Dani a dog one more time, lick a gooch nut suckers. XoXo Jamie <3

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A black man was walking down the street wearing a ski mask. It was cold outside.

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Why can't dogs fly? Because they do not have wings.

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what do you call a black man in a cop car? a policeman

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My dog barks when someones at the door.

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? "We are both lawyers."

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I used to say "I used to be an adventurer like you but then I took an arrow to the knee" like you but then I took an arrow in the knee.

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What did the orphan get for Christmas? Cancer.

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Hello, my name is John, and you are reading this paragraph. Find the mistake...

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Did you hear about the Nun in the Twin Towers? Yeah, she died too

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Why did the kid lose his mom? She was shot.

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(Pretend you're an orphan.) Knock knock. Who's there? Not your parents.

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Why does a new mother have big jugs? Her baby died of Sudden infant death syndrome.

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Three Jew begin to walk down the street, they then pursue walking and purchase many goodies from vendors.

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Okay, hundred billions, and because I am fucking hungry, we make it perpetual, now the longer you keep the feeling going, the stronger and stronger and you know, trillions, indefillions, nondecillions, hell, make up your own numbers and just consider them higher. Bet its starting to feel pretty nice huh?

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A duck walks into a bar and says to the bartender "Put it on my bill."

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Two blondes were in a parking lot trying to unlock the door of their car with a coat hanger. They had left the keys inside and no-one was around to help.

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"Doctor, I seem to have a large horn-like growth protruding from my nose". "Well, yes, that is because you are a rhinoceros".

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Q. Why did the lotion soothe the person's skin? A. Because its ingredients were selected because of their propensity to soothe skin.

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these guys im about to shoot owen,john,henry,shawn

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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