Roses are red, violets are blue, I had some crack, my unicorn says hi.

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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Four blonds are driving to Disney World when they come across a sign that says Disney World left, so they proceed to make a left at the next stop and have a wonderful time in what many people consider the most wonderful place in the world.

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Whats worse than one bee? Two bees. Whats worse than two bees? The holocaust. Whats worse than the holocaust? Three bees.

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In the attic lights Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Lights, voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic

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Q: What Did Alakazam Use To Listen Gangnam Style? A: He Used Psybeam.

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To men walk into a bar. One says to a paying customer, "Mind if I sit here?" and the other man inquires the bartender about so.e fancy drink that takes five minutes to prepare. After 23 minutes, naturally, they left at exactly the same time and they went home to their wife and kids. They both share a wife and kids.

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A handless Asian boy was riding his bike through the park with some friends. One of his friends puts his arms in the air and yells "Look! No hands!" The handless boy rides his bike home, crying and thinking about how one day he would like to say, "Look! No hands!" without people getting nauseous.

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A black man walks into a bar and orders a shot. He then precedes to drink it.

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Q-Why did the man fall out of the behemoth A- he had no legs

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Hi I'm makena. I'm a cynical asshole

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A redhead and a blonde both go out to smoke a cigarette. They are both at risk of lung cancer.

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Brother : you see this hand Sister : yes Brother : if you dont leave ill slap you with it Sister : no you wont !SLAP!!!!

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Q: Why is little Timmy living without his parents? A: He is ninety seven years old!

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don't repeat this joke!don't repeat this joke!don't repeat this joke!don't repeat this joke!don't repeat this joke!

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? She was a loaf of bread.

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This is a joke about Helen Keller. "Knock knock" "Who's there?

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how do you piss off a dyslexic? give him a crossword puzzle

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Why did Teddy eat dirt? Because he was hungry.

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knock knock whos there make up make up who hahahaha you said make a poo

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You know how I know you're gay? Because you came out to your close family and friends, who were all very respectful and accepting.

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jews

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what movie can a retarded 8 year old play the lead role in. Zathura

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How did Helen Keller burn her hands? On a candle.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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