What did the Albino get for Christmas? Hair dye.

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As we had been trying for some months now, I called my wife to ask her the result of her pregnancy test. A stranger answered and promptly told me she was killed in a car crash.

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Why did moral man lose his superpowers? Because he read the pointless superpowers section and realized its pointless... Moral: yeah this is my power... :(

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Yes

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what do u call a kid at school a school kid and i have enough of these anti jokes they are not funny

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Q. why did the girl fall off the swing? A. Because she had no arms.

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How many footballs fit in a glass of liquid. none, this football is HUGE!!!

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What is the worst thing to say to a dying person? After you die I'm going to defile your corpse, nan.

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Whats worse the losing your 3 kids, your lovely beautiful wife, and your trusty dog, all your belongings and in a house fire while you're at work? Nothing

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A blonde, a brunette and a red head are having a discussion on current issues. The brunette says she would like to see improvements in the environment. The red head says she would like to see the economy prosper. The blonde says she has to take a poop.

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To the 'am i pregnant now?'-section: Yesterday I spilled mustard on my brand new pants. That was just before I went out to some clubs. That night, after I had enjoyed myself with friends and alcohol, while I was walking home I was raped several times by big, black and hung men. It hurt a lot and my anus is still bleeding. My question is: What is the best way to get rid of the mustard stain?

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What do a duck and a bicycle have in common? They both have handlebars, except for the duck!

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What's disabled and red all over. The kid I hit with my car.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead... Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first monkey... Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Because he thought it was a game...

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How do you stop a train? You stand in front of it.

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Whats big and blue and white and if it falls from a tree its sure to kill you. A fridge with a denim jacket on.

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Why did the man open up a umbrella? Because it was raining..

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a blonde does something stupid. she dies. its funny.

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Because the tractor hadn't seen the chicken.

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"is it just me or is it getting really hot in here?" "the house is on fire and we are locked in"

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KNOCK KNOCK whos there Malcom i dont know any Malcom go away!

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 beat the crap out of 8.

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Fun Fact: If you lay out all of the veins in your body out, You will die

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Why didn't bob like night clubs? He was epileptic

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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