Roses are red,Violets are blue, Who the hell are you,Get the hell away

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A cow and a whale are swimming in the sea when they both realize this is Vietnam and they were really chimps

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The man who invented the teleprompter has died at the age of 91. When President Obama heard the news, he was speechless.

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Why do white people not eat crackers? Cause it's cannabalism.

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Chuck Norris was so famous we was casted for the show Walker, Texas Ranger

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Your mother is so retarded. How retarded is she? Very retarded.

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It is the conjoining of the two possible outcomes of the interstellar and post modern possibilities of the pasta sex god's niece's favorite colour after she falls off her bike whilst riding down a yellow slide after her twenty-seventh birthday when the two suns form a triangle in the night sky over the delta. Yes indeed that was good pudding.

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why did everyone laugh at the kid in the wheel chair as he entered the room? he was poor

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How many Santa Clauses does it take to change a light bulb? Santa Claus isn't real.

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Aww, I knew you where a sweetheart at the core Nerochan, I mean I look up towards people that don't give a jack about what others think but I am not as good at it as you are. Now can you please spam that away like really quickly now?

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What's the difference between an elephant & a toaster? ....you can't tell the difference between an elephant & a toaster??

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an man of hispanic descent ran into a pole his white friends proceeded to laugh at him not because he was in pain, but because he was different

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Why did the chicken cross the road?? So he could tell me to tell this joke to everybody and therefore prevent the universe from exploding

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Why did the old man lose his cane? He didnt. He had alzheimers

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Q: What do you call a colour blind person that smells like green paint? A: A painter

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Why did the communist fail his history class? Because he didn't study hard enough.

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There once was a mam from Peru He dreamed he was eating a shoe It wasn't... It was a goat

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Where do you find a dead hooker? where you left her.

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Knock knock Who's there Your Mother Come in

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It had gotten out of its coop.

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A man walks into a bar. I don't remember the rest, but your mother's a whore.

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(Mortal Kombat Annihilation) Princess Kitana: "Mother, you're alive" Sindel: "Too bad you, will die" (Troll 2) "They're eating her. And then they're gonna me. Oh my gawwwwwwwwd." (The Room) Johnny: I did not hit her, it's not true! It's bullshitt! I did not hit her! [throws water bottle] Johnny: I did *not*. Oh hi, Mark. Mark: Oh, hey Johnny, what's up?

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Why couldn't the blonde have kids? She had Ovarian Cancer.

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was gonna write a really funny "anti-joke" about two dogs and some spagetti but decided instead to tell you about how hard my life is and how much i hate getting up in the morning and just keep you wondering about the spaggetti and the dogs while i kill myself and it all a sudden makes sense as the two dogs are eating my shattered brain that looks like spaggetti wich leaves me wondering , am i spelling spaggetti right?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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