Jimmy's mom: Jimmy go do your chores now!! Jimmy: You shut your mouth, whore. Get your smelly ass back in the kitchen!!!

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If life's a box of chocolates, I'm the dominant male.

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Two men and a woman go to lunch together at a restaurant in New York City. The first man says, "I'm glad that we're finally doing this." The second man says, "Yeah, me too." The woman concurs.

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Chuck Norris farted and... several people looked around uncomfortably, not knowing how to react to the embarrassing situation.

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why did stuart buy an ipad from the mall. because he wanted an ipad

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What's fat and round and has a ballsack nose? Mr Chicken

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What is sad and disappointing? Nevada's and California's snow pack.

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Welcome to the anti-joke Olympics! As you can see ladies and gentlemen, our contestants are starting to look very excited as the "who can look the most bored" competition is just about to begin! We are terribly sorry to announce that as for the butterfly style contest, all of the butterflies drowned :( While at this corner, we can see these contestants have been waiting patiently for hours for the "who is the most impatient" contest to begin! While over here, none of our contestants have yet to make a chicken cross the road and tell them why! In the meantime watch as we mistreat these Jews in order to find out what is worse, the holocaust or a worm in your apple! So far our contestants with worms in their apples are complaining more, but dying significantly less, how will this end! How exciting! Finally our swing contest has been cancelled as Sally refuses to get on it! Moral: BUT WILL IT BLEND!

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Q: How do you do to get an elephant down from a tree? A: Wait for the fall when the leaves start falling you shoot it down.

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Q:Whats yellow and white and sits at the bottom of a pool? A: A baby with slashed floaties Q:Whats red and gory and sits at the top of a pool? A: Floaties with a slahed baby

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the party? ...Because he was buried in a churchyard.

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what do you call a Mexican driving a plane? a pilot you were probably to racist to work that out

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How many apes does it take to put in a light bulb 3

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roses are red violets are blue you smell like poo I F*****G HATE YOU!

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What's smelly and Dirty? Someone who hasn't shower in a reasonably long time.

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knock knock whos there **gunshot ...man that gun show next door is annoying

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Ever heard of carpel tunnel? Well after that girl it was more like carpal toungal

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An anti-Semite, a Jew and an American walked into the bar. The barman said: "Hi, Sara".

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Why did the chicken cross the road? An obsession with what motivates a chicken.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Banana. Banana who? I'm a talking banana; what more do you want from me?

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Christ is a conspiracy

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Why did the man apologize to the other man, after he had hit him with an axe? He didn't. The man was dead.

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? ... Well, do you know or not?

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A black man and a Mexican man are in the back of a car. Who's driving? Not enough information to answer this question.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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