Where do cows get cultured? They don't, they get slaughtered first.

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A man gets a paternity test. It's better than beating his wife senseless due to his own insecurity.

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A man walks into a bar. Since he was only moving at a slow walking pace, he was fine, no further events worth noting occured.

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Oracle horacle, you big bloated boracle!

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A Black Guy, A Rabbi, And A Mexican walk into a bar, the bartender looks up and says "Get Outta Here We're Closed!"

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Q: What is Fftp poort grtz gruxxyw? A: DYSLEXIA!

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Why did the plane crash? Chuck Norris was sitting in it, and thus his weight was countless times larger than the lift force of the plane.

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What did the woman say to the dog? Stop shitting on my carpet your dickhole

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Yo mamas so dumb she has to repeat the 10th grade...again.

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What did little John do when he was bored? He went on Anti-Joke

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Why did the bakery run out of the business? They weren't making enough dough

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What is green and fuzzy and can kill you when it falls out of a tree A pooltable

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Why was the little boy crying? He had a frog stapled to his forehead. Why did the little boy have a frog stapled to his forehead? Because Johnny just can't drive. Why can't Johnny drive? He has no arms and legs. Why does Johnny have no arms and legs? Cause Johnny is a potato! Why did Timmy drop his ice cream? Because he got ran over by a bus. But who was driving the bus? Johnny the potato!

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I used to get on Facebook, then someone asked me to save a child in Africa by liking a picture of Jesus or ignore it and go to hell

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Would you spit or swallow? Well, in circumstances when i am eating or drinking, i would swallow. Although if i had something disgusting in my mouth i would spit

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Know what's worst than getting raped by a giant scorpion? Obama

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A guy walks into a bar. He must have been blind or something.

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What's even better than finding 10 bucks in your pocket? Getting into heaven.

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This person shaved their head to gain attention. A klansman.

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What has four legs and is always ready to travel? Siamese twin fugitives.

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your friend is so gay that he cuts of dicks as his part time job. and enjoys it.

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There's this traveling merchant from Flint, MI. He goes door to door trying to sell shampoo. He is having a lot of trouble selling shampoo in Flint because they were hit hard during the recession and now ahve trouble affording even the most seemingly cheap products.

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what goes ha ha ha ..plop? We are all going to die.

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What did the little boy with no arms or legs get for christmas? Cancer..... Just Kidding! He got a bike!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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