What does and elephant and me have in common. Everything, I am an elephant.

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^ That's not even funny ^

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Q: How do you know what will happen when the world willl end? A: by experience

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Why was the asain studing? Because he had a 59 in math and needed a C to tay on the footbal team.

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what did the boy with no arms or legs get for christmas? a bike

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms

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Why did the man not get home to his loving family? He blew up.

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So a bar walks into a man...

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what's the worst part about owning a prius? telling your parents you're gay

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop? That depends on a variety of factors.

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Why were there only 5,000 Mexicans at the Battle of Alamo? They only had 1250 trucks.

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Its over 9000 penises and they're all raping little children!!!!!

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Why was the man denied access to the college Because he did not have good grades in the past.

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Where's my baby??

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Do you know what lmnop is? No. A group of five consecutive letters.

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How do you scare a black man? You dont

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What did the frog say to the other frog Your a chode

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Q: What did the vomiting man say to his friend? A: BLEEEAAARRRGGHH! Q: What did the vomiting man say to his wife? A: BLAAAARRRRRGGGHHH!!! Q: What did the vomiting man say to the waiter in the restaurant? A: BLAAAAAARGH! Q: What did the vomiting man say to Leonardo DiCaprio? A: BLEEEEAAAARRGH! Q: What did the vomiting man say to the convenience store clerk? A: BLAAAAAARRRGGGGHHHH! Q: What did the vomiting man say to your mom? A: BLAAAARRRGGGHH!!!! Q: What did the vomiting man say to Barack Obama? A: BLAAAARRRRRGGHHHH!! Q; What did the vomiting man say to the King of Saudi Arabia? A: BLAAAAAAAAAAAEEEAAARRGH! Q: What did the vomiting man say to the bartender? A: BLLLEEEEAAAARRGHHHH!!! Q: What did the vomiting man say to the funeral home director? A: BLLLEEEAAAARRRGGGHHH!!

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What do you get when a man farts then a giraffe digests the gas and then poops into the mouth of a rabid baby raccoon? A raisin coated in corn flakes with digestive fluid sauce.

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whats black? the colour

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What did the girl tell her abusive boyfriend Girl: You broke my heart! Boyfriend: I'm gonna break your face.

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How do you make a clown stop laughing? Hit him in the face with an ax.

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How did Helen Keller burn the side of her face? She didn't use enough sunscreen.

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How many chickens does it take to screw in a light bulb none, because chickens do not have opposable thumbs,therefore prevents them from preforming such a remedial task.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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