What has four legs in the morning, two legs at noon, and three legs at night? An experimental animal mutilated then exposed to radiation.

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was DEAD! But why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was stapled to the first monkey... But then why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? P-p-p-p-eer pressure

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"Would you like to see our stool samples?" asked the salesman. 10 minutes later, I left with 3 new bar stools.

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If a brick said "hi" what you reply with? Nothing. You can't reply to something that doesn't speak.

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Knock Knock Whos there Cameron oh

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what's the diferance between a boner and a lambroghini? I dont have a lambroghini

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If you woke up in the morning feeling like P Diddy, get tested. Immediately.

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? HE WAS DEAD STUPID IDIOT.

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My neighbours found out this morning that I'm a serial killer. Knock knock [L]

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What do you call a guy with a puppy, candy, and a windowless white van? You're next baby sitter.

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A paraplegic walks into a bar.

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Whats faster than a black guy with a tv? His brother who is a dentist and drives a fast sports car.

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so a horse walks into a bar and the bartender syas why the long face and the horse says naaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah.

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what do u call a lesbian dinosaur? lickalotopuss

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Why did little Tommy eat an apple? Because he was on a diet

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A man walks into a pet shop. He says to the shopkeeper, "Excuse me, do you have any dogs going cheap?" The shopkeeper replies "We feel that we price our animals reasonably, but the cheapest type of dog we have is £50." The man realises that, unfortunately, he cannot afford a dog so instead he purchases a goldfish. It wasn't the same.

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A pirate walks into a bar. The bartender says, "You know, you have a steering wheel down your pants?" The pirate says, "I know, I was just raped by a group of men who thought it would be funny to humiliate me as much as possible. The bartender then called 911 seeing that a horrible crime had just been committed.

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What time is it Mr.Wolf? About half 5. Alright, thanks mate. How's the kids? Managing. Yeah. Yeah. Crazy world. Anyway, Got to be going. Yeah yeah. Say hi to the wife for me. Will do. Alright, Bye. See you later.

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What's worse than falling off a horse? Falling off a cliff.

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Why can't black people swim? Because there are sharks in the lake.

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Roses are blue, Violets are red, I have to go to the bathroom now...

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Knock knock. Whos there? I am you dumbass im standing right next to you.

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How do you have se with hellen keller? Very sweetly

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Three girls are walking in the woods they see tracks one thinks it is a bear the other thinks it is a deer the last one thinks it is a lion They all argue till they get hit by a train and realized they were train tracks

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops