Why did the man go to Lourdes Because he has lost all hope

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Have you ever seen the movie called "The Tourist"? No

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what did the mother say to the banana? I'm going to eat you like your father.

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A blind man walks into a bar. Nobody is surprised.

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Why did Timmy drop his ice cream cone? Because a skyscraper landed on him. Yes. A skyscraper.

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A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender can you throw me a beer and the bartender says yes and he throws him the beer and the man says I can't catch I have the smallest hands in the world and the bartender says go across the street there is a guineas book of world record store an check if you h e the smallest hands and he does so the next day he goes back and asks for another beer and the bartender throws him a beer and say I cant catch cause I have the smallest feet in the world and he goes across the street and checks and he does and then the third day he goes back to the bar and asks for a beer and the bartendor throws him another beer and says I can't catch I have the smallest penis in the world so he goes to the guiness book o world record store and then goes bac to the bar and asks..... Who's austin bell?????

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Jack be nimble, Jack be quick, Jack has a crippling addiction to Cocaine which ultimately led to his divorce and the subsequent loss of custody of his children.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 had two penises.

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What's black and white and red all over? I don't care I have AIDS

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jack and jill went up the hill to get a bucket of water. jack fell down and broke his ankle and neck severely. jack and jill were taken away from their parents by child services, and their parents are charged for child endangerment and child labor.

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When life gives you lemons You've got some lemons.

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What would you do if I said a horse ate your mother? It doesn't mattet, I didn't

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My life has been getting worse and worse since I developed cancer.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, You just died, and I'm laughing at you and your extremely ugly face.

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Why did Sally drop her Ice Cream Cone? Because her dog licked her butthole.

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a black man walks into a shop, he buys his groceries, then leaves...

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What starts with a J, and burned in the oven? My Jumbalaya, i left it in for too long...

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Hey, in case you are around and still wonder how he got out. Anonymous tip from yours truly, if he had remained there, you would all have taken the blame. Just stay away from the deep web, and I wont be forced to come get all of you as well. For a long while I was suspicious that you might have been leaking information regarding me and all of us, but then the rules changed and information regarding Point Zero, subtle hints and such, began spreading, it has been removed, nobody will know what Intel was sold, so yeah, he was a mole, he is no more, for this I am sorry.

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Q: Whats worse than dropping your ice cream? A: Dropping two ice creams. Q: Whats worse than dropping two ice creams? A: The Holocaust. Q: Whats worse than the Holocaust? A: Dropping three ice creams.

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Today I wanted to make world peace.... So I killed everyone.

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? I don't know, why don't you go ask him?

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A white guy, a black guy, an asian guy, an indian sit together. Canada

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Hey how is your wife and my kids

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-It ain't over till the fat lady sings -she just did -oh, I guess it's over then -k

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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