what has 2 legs and red all over half a cat.

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If pro- is good or favored and con- is bad, then why do people favor the constitution and stay away from prostitution?

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How many lesbians does it take to change a lightbulb? One. But after she does this, se will probably have sex with another woman

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You wanna hear a clean joke? Mary takes a bath with bubbles. Wanna hear a dirty joke? Bubbles is a man.

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So I have an idea that will solve both world population and hunger problems! I call it the Omni-Abortion law. The idea is that all babies must be aborted and then eaten. Progressive, right?

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Why is Barney green and purple? Because the producers of the show decided to make him that way.

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Q: whats the difference between a shoe and a ginger? A: shoes have soles.

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Why did Carl the cat die? he didnt. he's still alive.

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What is brown and smells like sh!t Actual sh!t

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Why did the plane crash? Because something was wrong with the engine

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a girl had just gotten dumped by her boyfriend over a text message. she got very sad and became suicidal

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The chicken didn't cross the road. Therefor, there is no why.

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Q: How many teenagers does it take to change a lightbulb? A: None, they just sit in the dark and complain about it.

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A man walked into a bar. Ouch! He tripped over the little step at the entrance. But don't worry, he's not hurt, it just startled him for a second there. They should put a caution sign out front, somebody might get a serious injury. You can never be too safe, after all.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was stressed & having alot of financial, mental and physical problems so he crossed the road in hope to kill himself. And he did he got ran over by a car, may his soul rest in peace.

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The President, The Pope, and a small child are all in an airplane when the pilot announces that the plane is going to crash. They crash into the ocean and quickly remember that there is a life vest under their seats, which they promptly put on and safely inflate after exiting the cabin of the aircraft by pulling down on one or both of the red tabs.

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How can you ruin someone's day? Tell them their mother has cancer. No really, I found out my mom has cancer a week ago.

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why do police kill so many young black men in America? it's a difficult question that deserves a thoughtful response. many complex issues are at play, but we also feel a sense that something must be done. we cannot ignore some of the forces at work here, yet we cannot all personally take responsibility, either. or maybe he wanted to steal his girl. that shit really happens. THAT SHIT LEGIT HAPAPNES.

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I know that a lot of people don't like morbid jokes, for it isn't everybody's cup of liquidized dead baby.

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How come Susie fell off of the swing? -because I hit her with an axe Coolhsoj

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My neighbours found out this morning that I'm a serial killer. Knock knock [L]

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Why was little David sad? His father got hit by a truck.

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What do an airplane and a grape have in common? They both have wings, except the grape.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead! Why did the bird fall out of the tree? It was attatched to the monkey! Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? .....................peer pressure

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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