What do you call a man with no arms in the middle of the ocean? Mike.

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OMG did you hear about the man who sky-dived from mars?!!!! No…. Me neither

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mirror mirror on the wall who has the most desire of them all? Matt Daly!

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Oh you're dating my ex? Do you want my unfinished sandwhich too? And my old shoes? And a couple of my shirts I don't wear anymore? How about a my toys I used to play with? Or my spoiled pickle that's been in my car for about a year and a half after I went to the mall with my friends, we watched a movie, I don't remember which one it was but it was funny, then after that we went to McDonald's and it was the first time I heard of McGangbang and it was pretty good. After that I think we went to Jerry's cousin's house, he was a cool guy until I found out that he likes Tyga, so I ended up never talking to him again.... I went off topic, sorry

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I road a horse to school. My friend stabbed it with a Javelin and screamed.... The horse was his Dad

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How are this and that alike? They aren't.

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What's Worse Than Falling Over? .......Rape.

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Q:What did the midget say to the toll booth operator? A: Is your family dead too?

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Q: What do you call an exact duplicate of Homer Simpson who's been enhanced with numerous special powers and a strength-boosting inducer among other beneficial additions? A: A mobidly overweigth individual who hasn't realized what the phrase, "Go on a diet", even denotes/implies.

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You walk into a plane full of Arabs talking about how much they hate America. You arrive at your destination enlightened about the problems in American society.

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What's oily and smells like smegma? Kevin Crummy

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A person affected by Alzheimer's is asked a knock knock question- Knock Knock Who's there? Boo Wait what are we doing again?

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Why was the black man unemployed and in debt? Because current socio-economic realities and systematic racial discrimination place him at a disadvantage in terms of education and employment. Indeed, it is statistically probable that he was raised below the poverty-line, greatly limiting his opportunities from a young age.

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What did the cheerleader get for christmas? Money, because she's a stupid w hore

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How many beavers does it take to paint a house blue? 0, beavers cant paint.

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Your momma's so fat, people make jokes about her.

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What the difference between a circle and a triangle? You're an idiot if you don't know the difference.

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Yo momma so ugly, she makes french people say "you are ugly" in whatever language they speak.

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Gustavo Andrade

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what did little johnny get his grandfather for christmas?nothing his grandfather died on thanksgiving

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No smoking No eating No drinking On this bus Didn't say anything about sniffing

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there once was a man, he was old, and he had one wish...do you wanna know that wish? Well i don't know it because he died two seconds ago from a heart attack. Oh Well...

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How did the fat man die? He was fed porrage until he died. Who killed the fat man? Leonardo DaVici How did Leonardo Da Vinci die? Natural causes (Actually I have no idea how Leonardo Da Vici died but if I am wrong please correct me) Thank You for your coperation.

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Why did the baby die? Lack of oxygenated blood to the brain.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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