Why did the little boy throw his clock out of the window? After hours of searching for the snooze button to no avail, the little boy became so irritated at the incessant ringing of the alarm that he threw it out of his window in a fit of rage. The clock landed on an old woman who was walking twenty stories below. She was immediately killed on impact.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

A man walks into a bar with a frown on his face His dog just died

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Q:What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? A:Lick-a-lotta-pus

thumb_up thumb_down -6

My wife was diagnosed with cancer yesterday. Yeh I didnt find it very funny either.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

what do you call a black man in a cop car? a policeman

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why didn't the cat play with the ball of yarn? It was drowned in a toilet.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What do you call an alligator in a circus? Testicular Cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Know what im sayin'? No but im wearing pants

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What do you do to Jewish people? You Challah at them.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A: Knock knock. B: Come in. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ?cash(p)

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Ask me if I'm wearing pants. Are you wearing pants? Yeah.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Q: What do Captain Jack Sparrow, Captain Crunch, Captain Morgan and Captain Kangaroo all have in common? A: They are all caucasian

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did the washing machine laugh? Because it took the piss out of the knickers!!!!! :)

thumb_up thumb_down -8

how did the snake fly? it couldnt snakescant fly

thumb_up thumb_down -8

why did the man ride the helicopter,because he was hurt horrible in a car accident.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Q: You know why the floor is so clean? A: Because the janitor puts a lot of hard work into it.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What do a baby and a slinky have in common? They both bring a smile to your face when you push then down a flight of stairs.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Are you ready kids "Aye Aye Captain" I Can't hear you "AYE AYE CAPTAIN" Ohh... Who lives in a pineapple under the sea "Spongebob squarepants" Absorbant and yellow and porous is he "Spongebob Squarepants" If nautical nonsense be something you wish "Spongebob Squarepants" Then drop on the deck and flop like a fish "Spongebob Squarepants" READY Spongebob squarepants Spongebob squarepants Spongebob squarepants SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!

thumb_up thumb_down -8

how did sally die? she starved because she cant get in to get the nuggets.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why do sharks swim in salt water? Pepper water makes them sneeze! Why do whales swim in salt water? They can't survive in fresh water.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What do you call a man with no arms and legs laying at your doorstep? Matt.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did the blonde go to the post office? Because she received a phone call from them indicating that there was a package for her.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

whats worse than finding out there's mold in your bread? finding out the holocaust is in your bread

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops