what did the chickpea say to the raison when he got called big but? Atleast i dont have a stick up my but.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What does the Priest say to the little boy? Size doesnt matter

thumb_up thumb_down -19

whats fat round and mentally special? PeterPanMyHero!

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Whats red and has wheels? An apple, I was just kidding about the wheels.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why did the pot-head have red eyes? He got soap in them.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why did the guy fall asleep? Because he's in a coma.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

a man about 65 years old is tired with his life. he begins to realize that it is meaningless to him. whil on his way to commit suicide, he comes across a man with a magicul offer. the magical man is offering to grant him the power to fly. although, the magical man wants something in return. the 65 year old man, says to himself, "i have nothing to lose". so he gives the magical man all his money and possesions he has with him. with a flick of his wrist, the magical man says, "ok, you have now been granted the power to fly". the 65 year old man, overjoyed of how he has the ability to fly runs to the nearest cliff and jumps. too bad the magical man was really male prostitute broke out of money and tricked the 65 year old man into beleiving that he had magical powers to grant him the power to fly. the 65 yeard old man died from impact and the male prostitute walked away with a wallet full of money.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Pokerface.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why did the stop sign run a red light? Because it couldn't see its face...

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Knock Knock. Who's there? Ya. Ya Who? Dot Com.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What is stupid and looks like you? You.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

You know what's good for shoulder pain? If you ice on for 20 minutes then off for 20 minutes repetitively three times a day

thumb_up thumb_down -21

roses are red, violets are blue with a face like yours, you belong in a zoo but don't worry, cos I'll be there too not in the cage but laughing at you!

thumb_up thumb_down -21

An englishman, an irishman amd a scotsman were walking down the street. What a fine example of unionism

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Two rolls are hanging on a wall..... On falls down and the other ones name is Erwin

thumb_up thumb_down -21

We was all sat down at the table ready to eat then Gary must've said something to Lucy because she just burst into tears and left the table.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

How do you make a sandwich? Go into the kitchen and make a sandwich.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Q: What race was Jesus Christ? A: None, he's not real

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Have you seen the blind man's new house? No. Neither has he.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why did the chicken cross the road .... The traffic light turned red

thumb_up thumb_down -21

A kid who lost parents is called an orphan and a wife who lost her husband is called a widow. What do you call parents who lost their child? Free on the Weekends.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where is my tractor?

thumb_up thumb_down -23

How many Dean Mckee's does it take to screw in a lightbulb? He doesn't know what a lightbulb's for, nevermind how to use one.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

"Merry Christmas, Mom! My gift to you is...ME!" "I brought you into this life you disrespectful brat!" He then proceeds to a cliff.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops