What do you call the man with no arms or legs, swimming in the bay? Bob.

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Q: How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? A: None. Woodchucks do not have opposable thumbs and cannot grasp or throw anything, so the point is moot unless they evolve thumbs for the sole purpose of chucking wood.

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Why did Chuck Norris eat a sandwich? Because he was hungry.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "Why the long face" The horse responds "My daughter has cancer"

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Q: whats worse than finding out you failed an exam? A: finding out you where Hitler in a past life

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Teachers be like "Hold on class, I am almost done with my lesson!" Students: " Aint nobody got time 4 dat!"

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whats the hardest answer ever? The one without a question.

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A Polack walks into a bar. Which makes sense because the bar was in Warsaw.

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whats the difference between a dead baby and a watermelon? babies aren't fruit.

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Hello, my name is John, and you are reading this paragraph. Find the mistake...

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what's funnier than AIDS on a holocaust boy? everything. AIDS and the Holocaust are two terrible things.

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A circus clown climbs to the top of a five-storey ladder and dives into a foot-deep pool of water below. His neck is broken on impact. RIP Chuckles.

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Patient: Doctor, it hurts when I run, I might have arthritis. Doctor: Let me check.... 5 minutes later... Doctor: It turs out you have 3 bullets in your legs. Patient: Ohhh, I get it now.

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I like that, but why am I happy?

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A Mexican man walks into a bar, the bartender asks "haven't you got a damaged liver?" The Mexican replies "haven't you got a job to do?" The Mexican died 2 seconds later

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what happened to the chicken who crossed the road he didn't realize that the light was green

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What did the blonde say when she saw a tan button on her calculator? That must mean tangent.

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3 black guys are in the back of a car. Who is driving? A taxi driver

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Q: how do you get an clown off a unicycle A:You hit it with a police baton

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How do you knock up a Catholic girl? Put your penis into her vagina without wearing a condom.

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Why can't you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom? Because dinosaurs died out 65.5 million years ago.

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I admit I don't know what the future holds, but one thing I know for sure is that... Lance Armstrong has only one ball.

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Did you hear the one about the flying turtle? No? Okay I'll tell you about it. So one day there was a flying turtle. His name was Larry and he was a turtle that can fly. However, nobody believed that Larry can fly and he wanted to prove it. So the next day George, who was a flying octopus, called Jerry on his cell phone and told him a story about a Larry. Jerry, who was a media reporter, was so offended by his story and called the police. Question: What did the police say? Nothing because it was a made up story

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what did the homeless man get for Christmas? nothing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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