Where do penguins keep their money? No where. Penguins don't have a money economy

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How did the Mexican cross the border? He couldn't he didn't have legs

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Christopher Reeves walks into a bar.

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What's the difference between dead babies and the holocaust? A lot.

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Roses are green. Violets are purple. Charlie Sheen. Looks a turtle.

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What do you do if you see a cat crossing the street? Hit it of course!

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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mirror mirror on the wall who has the most desire of them all? Matt Daly!

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Every circle of friends has a "crazy one". If you can't figure out who the "crazy one" in your group is... Try harder. Either that or you are a terrible judge of character.

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What did the black man get for Christmas? Presents

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Why can't you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom? Because dinosaurs died out 65.5 million years ago.

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If the goverment wants us to be eco friendly then why are the eco friendly cars so expensive?

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What did the man say to the cat? I thought you were fake.

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Have u seen stevie wonders new house? No. Niether has he

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My mom told me and my brother to lean up on a commercial...we were watching netflix

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Q: What do you call a fish with no eye? A: Fssshh

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how many black people can you fit in a car? However many sets there are.

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Whats the difference between a truck full of bowling balls and a truck full of dead babies? You can't unload one with a pitchfork

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? "We are both lawyers."

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Why couldn't the kid eat his vegetables? His parents stabbed him...

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Why can't Elvis Presley drive a car backwards? Because he's dead!

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Once upon a time, there were two brothers jumping on a bed. The one stopped because the other fell off the bead and died.

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mary poppins' handbag is full of fuckin dick

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What is furry, red, and flat? Road kill.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops