Why didn't the octopus have any friends? Because they are antisocial creatures by nature. -Louis

thumb_up thumb_down -7

My wife was diagnosed with cancer yesterday. Yeh I didnt find it very funny either.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

How do you know if a woman is cheating on you? If you catch her cheating on you

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A blond, a brunette, and a redhead all entered their designated classrooms to begin AP testing. They all worked extraordinarily hard to earn a passing grade and receive college credit. The brunette and the redhead received passing, yet average, grades. The blond also received a score that reflected the amount of effort she put into studying and memorizing the material, because there is no correlation between hair color and intelligence.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What did the tree say to the plant. Nothing tree's cant talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What do you call a Jewish dinosaur? Fossil Fuel

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Who won the race? I don't know look it up.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

"Horse walks into a bar. Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from. So, you should probably leave."

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What is worse that a bee sting? 2 bee stings what is worse that 2 bee sting? Kony what is wose than Kony? 3 bee stings what is worse than 3 bee sting? being allergic to bee stings

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Pope: how to help the unfortunate people my fellow Christians? Christians: We should give donations and a lot of support. What we always do. Pope: and i shall wear this golden hat, sit on a high quality super expensive chair, this rope with gold attached to the decorations, and wave my golden staff as you help these poor innocent children. Christians: yes...that... Pope: P.S: and live in an expensive church with many children alone.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What's the difference between a plumber and a gynecologist? One has a knowledge of piping system of a house and the ability to fix said pipes and the other has the medical knowledge of a women's vagina.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

How did Alice get revenge on Diane when Diane called her fat? When Alice was pregnant, she stabbed herself in the stomach and blamed it on Diane. Diane was then sent to prison for murder and received a sentence of 25 years. Alice laughed in court, and Diane was forced to commit suicide. Alice then stole Diane's husband, and she lived happily ever after.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why was Joe lying on the ground? Because he got shot.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

why shouldn't you get a clown angry? Because they'll yell at you.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What do the holocaust and new born babies have in common? Nothing. Except some babies are born in Germany.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What happened when the boy got sad He fell in a woodchipper

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Everyone believes in something. If you believe "you'll have another drink," you may be an alcoholic.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

what's worse then the holocaust finding a worm in your apple.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

How many midgets does it take to change a light bulb? If you do the math, it's probably one.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did Samuel drive his car into a tree? Because the tree was being a total jerk, blocking the road.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

One a upon of time there was man named Cinderella. He was so mad because his name was Cinderella. The end.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What is the funniest shirt Emil heskey has ever worn? A shirt that had this joke on it

thumb_up thumb_down -9

How am I supposed to eat soup without an envelope?

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Where do cows go to have fun? Cows don't have a concept of fun as such, but they would probably go to a large, sunny field full of lush, green grass with a bubbling river and plenty of shade.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops