A man walked into a bar. He got drunk and left.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "why the long face?" The horse replies "my whole family was killed in 911... And I used the money I got from life insurance to get plastic surgery to always have a smile on my face. My doctor botched the surgery, so now my face is elongated. Even for a horse, of course."

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What do you call a black man flying a plane ? - a pilot.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, It's none of my business.

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a one fingered leper was sitting one day on the beach playing cards. When a stranger asked to play,hide and go seak. well the oner finger leper licked his invisible finger and said "which ways the winds blowing pete. .-poot-

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Why was the boy cold? Because he couldn't afford clothing.

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Why were two black men fighting for a dollar that fell on the floor? Because they both lost their homes in the crashing market and have to care for their ill children that need money for medical expenses.

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why was the postman sad? because ran over a small child with his truck

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Q: What is strange about Arabs? A: Very little.

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Whats worse than stubbing your toe? Getting shot.

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What happened to the girl that thought she was a mermaid? She drowned, humans can't breathe under water.

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A black man walks into a store with a ski mask on... what does he do?? he buys skiis.

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Dolly Parton's bobbs are so fake that they both have silicone in them.

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There was once a little boy who started feeling sick. His mother gave him some soup. He died anyway.

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Why didn't the octopus have any friends? Because they are antisocial creatures by nature. -Louis

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which is faster a) ferrari b) beetle a ferrari

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your mom is so fat that she had to start going to a gym to exercise and get her weight under control.

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Why did the man lose the spelling bee? He was mentally retarded and had no friends.

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what did the red rock say to the blue rock? Nothing. Rocks can't talk.

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Roses are red, and blood is too. But violets are purple. NOT FUCKING BLUE.

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what do you say when you wake up in the middle of the night and see your tv floating thats odd.

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Person 1: Why does food from Subway taste so good? Person 2: I don't know, why? Person 1: Because their ingredients are fresh. Person 2: Um, OK? Person 1: Yeah, it's all under 18. Person 2: Shit...

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It's probably not a good idea that your in here, any sudden movements and you could seriously injure somebody. Our beer glasses aren't ergonomically designed for your kind of species. I'm going to have to ask you to leave

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Why did the boy fall? He got tackled by a man that was 400 pounds.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops