What's the difference between a Lamborghini and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.

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what did the woman say when the guy told her he liked her christmas tree? thank you.

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What do you call an alligator in a circus? Testicular Cancer.

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Why did the bus drop his icecream? He was hit by a boy

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So there is a muslum, then he flew a plane into a building and died a sudden death. But he was wearing a helmet.

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What did the Rose Bowl say to the Fiesta Bowl? We crushed the Orange Bowl.

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A hooded black man walks into a Convenience store. He orders a cup of hot chocolate as it is very cold outside.

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I'm a burrito... With a big shirt.

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Why didn't the jew spend his paycheck? He wanted to save money for the future

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What is a 3 legged dog? It's still a dog! Sheesh

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A man walks into a bar with a frown on his face His dog just died

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Three children had stumbled upon a magic slide. There was a sign on the slide stating that what ever they shouted, they would land in a pool of it at the bottom of the slide. So the first child began sliding and shouted out "JELLY" and sure enough he landed in a large pool of jelly when he reached the bottom of the slide. The next child, so excited to go down the slide began sliding down. She shouted out "LOLLIES" and sure enough she landed in a large pool of sweets and chocolates at the bottom of the slide. Finally, the youngest girl in the group mounted the slide. As she was going down she was enjoying the slide so much that she shouted "POOS POOS" forgetting the rule of the magic slide and finally landing in a large pool of excrement.

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Why did the old man go to the retirement home? The 75 year old man had a 45 year career in pluming and he thought it was a good time to retire after saving enough money to be happy and he could spend the rest of his life with his wife. The retirement home was also not that far away from his grandchildren so he liked the location and the home was also very clean and the workers seemed very nice. But this was just a visit to see if he liked it, he may live there soon.

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In the middle of english class, Little Timmy raised his hand and asked "Can I use the restroom" The english teacher said " I don't know, CAN you?" Little Timmy said "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?

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Hey, you why you say poo poo nae nae watch me whip, and do the dougie, and then happy halloween? Potato Salad

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why did the couple sell their house? their children were all raped and then murdered in it and they cant stand the memories

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Why did Jim go to the hospital? To get an autopsy.

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Stephen Hawking is so paranoid, always looking over his shoulder.

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What did the little boy want to be when he grew up? A cone

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Q: Whats the best part of a bald pussy? A: After you put the diaper back on you perv!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because you touch yourself at night.

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Yo momma so old that she has started to look into an affordable life insurance plan to ensure all her final expenses are taken care of.

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A duck walks into a bar- nope, just chuck testa...

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A little girl meets a homeless guy named Ian McDermott in downtown Atlanta She then screams stranger danger and a nearby policeman comes and arrests the man.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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