I've always hated people saying "last one there is a rotten egg" because don't you want to be a rotten egg so you don't get eaten?

69 cents for a rainbow donut shaped as a 69....

Why didn't the octopus have any friends? Because they are antisocial creatures by nature. -Louis

John: what is blue and goes blub blub Phil; I don't know, what? John: a blue blub blub. What is green and goes blub blub Phil; a green blub blub John: no green blub blubs don't exist, what are you stupid?

What did the teenage boy do when his mum was out shopping? Finish his homework.

What did your mom get for christmas ? A stairstepper.

What did the dying man say to his friends? Nothing. He had no friends.

-Knock knock! -Who's there? -DEFAX.

A guy uses Google locations to find his friend Chuck Norris.

whats the difference between a dead baby and a watermelon? babies aren't fruit.

Why did the blonde go to law school? She was sick of people assuming that she was not an intelligent woman due to negative sterotypes about her gender and hair color and set out to prove said people wrong.

Yo Momma so fat, that the doctor prescribed her prescription drugs that deal with her eating disorder and recommended that she begin a low calorie diet and live a more active lifestyle.

How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? I do not know because it depends on the woodchuck; however, if some statistical evidence is gathered on the average amount of wood a woodchuck could chuck you most likely would get a close answer, considering that the statistical research was not flawed.

Why was the man denied access to the college Because he did not have good grades in the past.

Why should you never attempt to rob Chuck Norris? Because he will beat you up as he knows self defense.

Why was the All-black Basketball team disqualified? Because they all died in a hotel fire.

What did the cat say to the dog? Meow.

Roses are red Violets are blue We decapitated some little children Now I'm in jail too.

if you press the thumbs up button nyan cat is going to visit you tonight

What is worse then your car getting hijacked? A 900 pound man eating a Donut.

Where do you find a ocean with no water. on a map. thumbs up for great jokes. please

do you have snow in your vagina? because i am going to plow you

What did the home-less man eat for dinner last night? Nothing.

Whats gets stiff when you have sex with it? A dead body.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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