What's worse than falling in the mud whilst wearing a suit? Burying your parents.

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a man walked into a bar, sat down and had a drink with his friends.

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Why didn't Susie do her reading homework? She is blind and her school system cannot Afford to teach her to read braille

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What happens when you give a guinea pig a cherry? He turns into satan.

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Why was the old man climbing the flag pole? Because he had Alzheimer, and he was losing his grasp of reality.

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How did Ronald McDonald die He was hit by a big mac

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Why couldn't Bob pick up his pen? Because a nuclear bomb just set off where he lives and it incinerated everything.

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A guy dared his friend to jump off a bridge for 10 bucks. His friend, fearing for his life did not jump.

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Why did the overweight black man wake up & then not get out of bed? He was paraplegic.

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Ask me what my favorite color is. What's you favorite color? Blue.

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A: Can I get a tall white Russian. B: No. A: Why not? B: Because this is a Barnes and Nobles. However, we do have a Starbucks, and I can offer you a venti caramel iced coffee"

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What is red and green and goes 50mph? A frog in a blender.

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What is striped black and white? A prisoner in jail arrested for the murder and rape of a 7 year old child.

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Patient: Doctor, it hurts when I run, I might have arthritis. Doctor: Let me check.... 5 minutes later... Doctor: It turs out you have 3 bullets in your legs. Patient: Ohhh, I get it now.

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Why did the police arrest the black man? He'd committed a crime, and was punished accordingly.

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Why was the ghast from minecraft crying? His family died

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If the goverment wants us to be eco friendly then why are the eco friendly cars so expensive?

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What did the man say to the tree? Nothing, he was a mime.

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Whats so funny about the women bringing fast food home for her family? Nothing shes a single mother who does'nt have time to make food between her two jobs.

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Why did the chicken walk across the road? Because chickens cannot fly

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What did Raymond say when josh ate him? Nothing because Raymond was dead.

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3 guys get stuck in a island and find indians and the indians say the three guys have to stick 10 of the same fruits up there or they die. The first guy came back with oranges but stops at 3 then gets killed. the second had grapes and stop at 2 and gets killed. But in heaven the first guy ask why did you stop at 2 there grapes. the second guy said he saw the third with a pineapple.

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There was once a Polish man who was extremely sad with life because people always made fun of him. He decided to do something about it. He sat down to contemplate the situation, and after a few hours, he thought, "I have never seen anyone making fun of Italians. So, if I start talking and behaving like them, no one will be able to make out that I am Polish and make fun of me." He went into isolation for three months and after a lot of practice, he walked confidently into a shop and said, "I am a very hungry. Give me some pepperoni and zucchini." Immediately, the man behind the counter said "Are you Polish?" This guy was taken aback and he repeated his request. The man behind the counter said, "Are you Polish or not?" This man was finally very ashamed and amazed at the shop owner's discerning ability and so he admitted to the fact after which he asked, "But how did you know?" The shopkeeper replied, "My grandmother was Polish. I could tell by your accent."

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what is the difference between the dead baby and the sandwich? i don't put my penis into the sandwich before i eat it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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