Listen Nero, I understand now that this is your real name, actually I know where you live thanks to the good old phonebook... ...My order is fully based on respecting and treating all living beings equally and focusing on actually putting old notions such as Gods and superstition away in order to strengthen humankind`s belief in itself and others. As for Nerometal, well, that was one of my... Lesser followers, I assure you they have been taken care off, they will not be bothering you ever again. What would it take for you to forgive our transgressions? Money? Power? Ask and you shall receive, as far as your identity goes, you shall have it back and I shall use another site in the future.

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Q: Why did Tom bought a new sweeper? A : because his grandma fired their maid

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Yo mama is so fat she lost 100 pounds and now she's not fat.

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What do you call a woman with one leg shorter than the other? Whatever her name is.

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A man walks into a bar. The ceiling was ringed with dozens of TV’s, much like your average sports bar. Unlike your average sports bar however, the TV’s were not featuring athletic competition. That is unless you consider vigorous and explicit gay sex between men hung like Tijuana mules to be a sport.

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1 woman and 2 guys were on a roadtrip. Every single day they would go do the same things. First go to Denny's, then to the mall, then see a horror movie. One day the woman said, "I don't want to go see the horror movie, I'm scared enough!" So the guys agreed that they'd trick the woman into going to a horror movie before Denny's. They went, and the woman was scared out of her mind. She yelled at them both for 30 minutes and to this day never speaks to them.

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black people swimming

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Chuck Norris was so good at karate that he held the middle weight world title for 6 years and was named fighter of the year by Black Belt Magazine. He also used his talents to start a successful acting and advertising career.

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Roses r red, Violets r blue, u think id eva cry ova u?? I told u i luvd u, n u believed it true... Well guess wat baby? U got played 2 B)

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How do you make a snake blink? You can't

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot.

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Man: Knock knock Man 2: who's there Alzheimer's patient: to get to the other side!

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What's the difference between a pile of rotting shit about to be re-heated in the microwave and Kevin James's new movie "The Zookeeper" ... Nothing.

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A jewish boy walks past a quarter on the ground..

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A plane crashed in the rainforest. The survivors all buried themselves because no survival equipment was left and they all sought to kill themselves in their deep state of shock and fear.

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Why was the black man fired from the bakery? He didn't work hard and was repeatedly absent

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Q: Santa Clause, the Tooth Fairy, and a rich mexican jump out of the plane at the same time. Who hit the ground first? A: The answer is none of the above, because they don't exist.

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Why was the boy adopted........ because hes grandad

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What has four legs and is always ready to travel? Siamese twin fugitives.

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what do you call a sick eagle illegal

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What's worse than being raped? Finding out it was your uncle.

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what did the jew say to the other jew in WWII?..... "We're both going to die."

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whats the difference between a dead body and a car with doors that open in a diagnal manner one was never alive to begin with

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Why did the chicken cross the road? it doesn't matter, it got turned into KFC before it crossed.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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