Knock knock? Who's There? I AMMM!!! (thumb this down please xD)

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What did the penis say to the vagina? Cover me, im going in.

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dalas rof rezilitref taerg a si citsalp. Read it from right to left.

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They usually say "fuck" the police! But no one wants to fuck the police...

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Dad, why do people say mom is a nympho? No idea son, try asking one of your other dads.

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What do you call a big house full of dead people? My family

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I'm not quite sure, but I just realized that my new pair of boxer briefs has ripped along the seam. Oh, and earlier this morning, I stubbed my toe pretty bad. The nail is all purple and the toe is all swollen, it was bleeding profusely until I put three bandages over the wound. It's still throbbing with pain. Oh, and also, a few months ago, I lost my job. It wasn't because I was constantly late or anything, it was more because as a server, I had been required to lift trays and stand and walk for the entirety of my shift. The only problem is, that about a year ago, I was involved in a serious car accident (once again, an occurrence that had not been due to my own actions). This car accident severed my spine in the L5 region. I can now barely walk for long periods of time, I find it impossible to run, I can no longer play sports and enjoy being a 21 year old male. I am in constant pain and it affects my breathing, my legs, the rest of my back, and also my teeth (due to the neurological connections dealing with the spinal cord). I am now currently looking for a new job, a more suitable job, to help sustain my hectic lifestyle. No, it is not a lifestyle of parties and what not, it is merely the lifestyle of living under roof and owning a used car. I have an alcoholic mother and my childhood was devoid a father. I raised myself, and to this day, I still have no family to help me through my financial struggles. I need nearly 2000 dollars in less than a week in order to pay all my bills, have my car fixed, and eat for another month. The only problem is, I have a dollar and 58 cents to my name. I wish I was this chicken, crossing roads, and what not, not just to get to the other side, but to live a better life. But, one can only wish.

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what do you get when you cross a turkey with a goat? nothing you can't cross to genetically different spieces stupid

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What's Great and Danish? The Great Dane Kane.

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Why do so many black athletes drive black cadillac escalades? Because it's roomy and they deserve to reward themselves after they put in so much hard work trying to be the best player they can be.

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What's the name of Hellen keller's dog? She doesn't have a dog, she's blind and deaf and would not be able to give it the adequate amount of care. Additionally, it's morally reprehensible to make fun of Helen Keller.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Tulips are yellow Grass is green

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why did the chicken cross the road? I never got to ask it got hit by a car.

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Why can't the man get a good jod? Because he did not go to college and there for did not get a good education.

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How many jews does it take to change a light bulb? Well none today because today is Saturday... maybe tomorrow

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i am an arrow and i did not hit your knee!f

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ATH: if for every 1 minute for billy is 5 minutes and every 5 minutes is an hour than billy is on acid and needs to come down.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread

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What do you get when you breed a dog and a cat together? A call from the RSPCA.

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Why was the truck making noises? It was backing up.

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Why couldn't Suzie put on her boots? Because she got her legs amputated.

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Where did Suzy go after the explosion? - Everywhere.

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Caroline Kelly...Tight Butthole

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I want some pudding. but I didn't have my meat. how can I have pudding?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops