Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It had gotten out of its coop.

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A man felt a pain in his stomach. He went to the doctor.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Barack Obama. Ok, come on in Mr. President!

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What's the difference between Barney the dinosaur and Santa? Barney Loves you.

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What musical band do you get if you keep shouting while in the mountain? The rolling stones. What do you get if you keep shouting in a snow covered mountain top? Blizzard Entertainment.

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How do you make a little boy cry? Cut off his legs.

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What's gay black & Jewish? The Ku Klux Klan

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1 little monkey jumping on the bed, he fell off and hit his head. Momma called the doctor and the doctor said, "Your son died of a concussion."

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Q:Why don't black people go on cruises? A:They already fell for that trick once.

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How do you get four gay guys to sit on one barstool? It's quite difficult, it would be easier to just get 3 more barstools.

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How did the man want his hair cut? In silence.

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What do you call a middle-eastern man flying a plane? A pilot

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why did the teacher quit her job and become a musician? Because her class was very mean to her and growing up she had always wanted to play music

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What do you call a person with one eye and no arms? Names.

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why did the kid strike out in baseball he had leprosy and his arms were amputated

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whats shaped like a tree. A tree.

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a man dyslexic into bar walks a

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What is the difference between john madsen and a gay person. There isn't because john is gay

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Why did the baby cross the road? Because ti was stapled to the chicken.

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Why did the man apologize to the other man, after he had hit him with an axe? He didn't. The man was dead.

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What time is it in China right now? I have no idea, it would depend on when you are reading this. Perhaps you should look at a world clock, watch, or some other sort of time-telling device rather than humorous website. Its purpose is not to tell time. However, there are many other places for this. Good luck surfing the web, friend. I have aided you the best that I can. I only hope that you will find what you are looking for.

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When life gives you lemons, take them. Free stuff is cool.

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whats the same about a donkey and a horse? They are from the same animal classification group.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops