CAOIMHIN JUST BE QUITE

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How do you drown a blonde? Put a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom of the pool then don't let her come up for air.

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whats cold, blue and hard? a frozen blueberry.

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Three blokes walk into a pub. One of them is a little bit stupid, and the whole scene unfolds with a tedious inevitability

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How long was the awkward silence it took to make Justin Bieber? Really long.

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An Englishman, a Scotsman and a Welshman are all in the Great Britain Olympic squad,

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XD Okay then, just a little and I am not very fond of it, I mean I tried something called tekken but that just made me nauseus. Then I got into some car racing game years ago, RidgeRacer I think, but when I moved the car to the sides, I kinda involuntarily tilted to the sides, and ended up smacking on the ground a couple of times.

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A man walks into a bar. His crippling alcoholism is tearing his family apart.

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What do you call a unicorn that is both invisible and pink? The Invisible Pink Unicorn.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It had a heart attack. Why did the baby fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the monkey

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Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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Why did the student get expelled from a Christian school? He continually beat other students between class periods.

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what's blue , and you can urinate it? a rim block.

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What's yellow and can't swim? A bulldozer

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DAVE : did you hear the one about the poster? MICHAEL: what?

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Whats brown and rhymes with snoop? Jay-z

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Why was the house on fire? A dog peed on it.

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Why was the man arrested? He assaulted and raped an elderly woman at the local Walmart. He then proceeded to hijack the poor woman's Scooter and lead police on a 4 mile long car chase.

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John has 37 candy bars and eats 36 of them? What does John have? Diabetes, John has Diabetes.

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Q:What do you call a mexican witha clean record? A: Impossible

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what did one computer say to the other .........

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A boy plays in his garden. Then he fall and his knee hurts a lot, but he doesn't cry. Do you know why? Because he's dead.

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What did the tramp get for Christmas? Nothing because he's Jewish.

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Q:why did jimmy fall of a swing? A:Because someone threw a fridge at him

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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