A couple elopes in Vegas. The next morning while eating breakfast the woman tells her husband she thinks it was a mistake, using her alcoholism as an excuse for her inability to make practical decisions. The man proceeded to cry and called his attorney to arrangea proper divorce.

a charmander decided to take a swim a.w. j.p.

If the shoe fits....... its probably your size.

Whats worse than getting an "F" on a test? Stage diving with a kilt on.

How many mice does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two, but I don't know how they got in there.

Q: Why didn't Dwight D. Eisenhower play with the silly putty? A: Because he's dead.

Q. How can you tell if a snake bites? A. It depends on if he walks to school or carries his lunch.

What did the empty bar stool say to the one next to him? "You look like you have a lot on your shoulders!"

What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

What's 13 inches long and 3 inches wide and drives women crazy? My diick

What did the coin said when it got flipped ? Nothing, coins do not have sufficient requirements to be able to talk like we humans do.

why did the horse drop its ice cream Because it doesnt have thumbs so it cant hold the ice cream

What do you call a fast black man with big muscles? A good source of minorities evolving.

Why was the cat meowing really loud? It was on fire. Why did the cat suddenly stop meowing? It died.

What do you call a man who's arms have been amputated? It doesn't matter, he won't be able to pick up the phone.

what did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? Christmas presents.

what can keep u alive for many years- -not being shot

Guess what sucks! A Vaccume. Guess what blows! A Sucky Vaccume.

Why can't Scrillex fish? Because He is too busy to practice fishing.

Why did the man lose the a race? 'Cause he has no legs

how do u get the baby to stop choking? take ur dick out of its mouth!!!

5 blondes walk into a bar They all leave very intoxicated and die in a car accident shortly after.

Why are there so many smiths in the phonebook? Because they all have phones.

Why did the boy break his leg? Because he fell off a building

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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