What did the fish say when he swam into the wall? DAM!

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I remember the last words my grandpa said before he kicked the bucket. I bet I can kick this bucket. He missed and had a heart attack.

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Why did the blonde cross the road? To get to the Public University where she worked as a Ph.D associate professor of linguistics.

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why does my face bleeding theres an axe in it

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A kid who lost parents is called an orphan and a wife who lost her husband is called a widow. What do you call parents who lost their child? Free on the Weekends.

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Q: What do you call a person with no arms and no legs ??? A: Stumpy

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How do you kill a blonde? Kick her off a cliff.

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Your momma's so stupid, she has a lower than average IQ!

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Roses are red, violets are blue, my life didn't start, until I met you! :) Megan _____

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What's worse than seeing another antijoke with "The Holocaust" punchline repeated? The Holocaust.

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How do you get 100 Jews into a car? You can't. It's physically impossible.

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How Many Women Does It Take To Parallel Park A Car ? Zero , The Husband Drove

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read this sentence again.

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Why does everyone tell black jokes? Because everyone hates black people.

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An alcoholic walks into a bar. He wakes up the next morning in a jail cell covered in blood. 3rd time this week.

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Mexican? I dont care if you are Mexican or not really, it makes no difference to me, I know you, I seen you before. But seriously, I consider you a good friend and all, and it seems we both get along, but you know after stuff happens, are we still friends then or is this all just a mating game thing for you? You can be honest with me, I am a realist, and I kinda like the idea of,the day after tomorrow, wont deny that. Its just that I dont want to lose a good friend in the process, and if this is just you trying to score, then well, I guess its still nice knowing this side of you.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm a schizophrenic And so am I

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golf is so gay i mean look at what they name the different clubs 3 wood 4 wood 5 wood 6 wood just give it a beat and you got a catchy song

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Yes 59 10 away from my faverite number....... 49

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Why didn't the lawyer submit the car accident he endured to his local courthouse? He was dying of internal brain damage from the shards of glass lodged in his brain from flying through the windshield.

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Knock,knock Who's there? Apple Apple who? Knock,knock Who's there? Apple Apple who? Knock, knock Who's there? Lemon Lemon who? Lemon know if you want me to say apple again

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How do you stop a baby falling down a well? Throw a javelin through its forehead.

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Why did Li Chong get an A on his math test? He studied.

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What's the difference between a duck? One of its legs are both the same.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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