what did one tree say to the other spruce up actually nothing because trees can't talk

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So there was this kid who was sitting on a stool, and the stool started moving. He then realized that stools do not move, so he got up and ran away as quickly as he could.

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whats brown and rhymes with snoop? Dr. Dre

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What's the difference between a baby and my trampoline? I take my boots off before i jump on my trampoline. . .

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A priest, a minister, and a rabbi all walk into a bar. They all say ouch and then continue walking. Although the minister did hit it at a higher speed and ended up with a black eye.

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i'm hard

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Why shouldn't you tell a joke during an earthquake. Cause it is not the time nor the place to tell a joke

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tennis grunts . . . no different from sex noises

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Why did the boy show off his ps4? Because his mom was rapped and murdered And his dad molested him when he was younger

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What do you call a kid that hasnt passes 7th grade? A 6th grader

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I workout, Don't mess with me.

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Why was the girl distressed by the photo of her boyfriend's mutilated corpse? Because it was out of focus.

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bite me

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When life gives you lemons, take them. Free stuff is cool.

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Why was the boy sad? A crazed drifter killed his family and made him watch.

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Why did the woman go in a elevator with Ray Rice? Because they were both going to the 25th floor and stairs would take too long.

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Potatoes have skin, i have skin, so therefore i must be a pig

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How did Bella fly? Very badly.

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A priest, a nun and an Irishman walk into a bar. The barman says 'what is this, a joke?'

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How long does it take jimmy hoffa to screw in a light bulb? A: Jimmy Hoffa is dead and incapable of screwing in a light bulb, however if you change the tense of the question to "how long WOULD Jimmy Hoffa HAVE TAKEN to screw in a light bulb" then the approximate answer would be around 1 1/2 minutes if Mr Hoffa had proper dexterity an motor control that was comparable to the average human.

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why did my BFF hate me?i called her an idiot on all the holidays including her birthday

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In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

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"knock knock" "who's there" *no answer* Opens door to find dead wife lying on doorstep with 'lol' stamped on forehead

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i was quite upset when my girlfriend called me a peodifile, what does she know, shes only 6.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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