What came first? The chicken or the egg? The egg, because breakfast comes before dinner.

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where is my tractor?

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Knock Knock Who's there? Ken. Can I some and use your toilet, I really need a shit.

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Is this the Krusty Krab? Nope, Chuck Testa.

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Why did billy fall off his bike? Because billy was a loaf of bread.

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What happened when the young child fell off of the swing? He broke open his head causing him to be sent to the hospital for 3 weeks.

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Why did the fat girl stop eating? She wasn't hungry.

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What did the plant say to the human. Nothing.

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Whats black and blue and red all over? An infant after its been beaten with a bat.

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Knock Knock Who's there? After no response, the man chuckled as he realized the sound of his TV mimicked that of his door knocker.

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Me:Oh wait, I got a joke! Friends:Oh boy, what is it? Tell us! Me:..my grandma died.. *Everyones silent* Some random guy:Oh haha, I get it! Me:Shut up, you have no friends. Some random guy: Oh........

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Your mother is so fat that when she looks in the mirror she is deeply upset by her appearance.

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

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So a man walks into a bar, right?

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Want to hear a joke? Too bad.

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What does a penguin and a watermelon have in common? They all come from Earth.

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What do you call an asian jumping off of a building? A suicide victim.

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When birds fly south for the winter they fly in a V formation. one side is always longer than the other. why is that? Because there are more birds on that side

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Your mamma used to be fat till Slim Fast came out with dick flavor!

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Why did Romney loose the election? Because Obama had more votes

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Knock Knock Who's there? Your mom. Just kidding, it's the pizza guy. Pizza guy who?

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Three ethnic minorities walk into a bar, and each does something involving alcohol that confirms a negative stereotype about his subgroup.

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What did John say to Paul before they entered the car? "Paul, get in the car."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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