Q: what do you call a mushy green circle that tastes good? A: An avocado

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There is a law in california that says that women are not allowed to drive with house coats.

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A used condom filled with water and left on a radiator makes an ideal and inexpensive lava lamp.

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A blonde, a brunette and a red head are having a discussion on current issues. The brunette says she would like to see improvements in the environment. The red head says she would like to see the economy prosper. The blonde says she has to take a poop.

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chuck norris won the world series of poker using his superior knowledge of counting cards and calculating probability.

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Three drunk llamas wearing sombreros are walking down the street. They walk in silence, lost in their own thoughts.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Its the pizza man. Get your yellow no good keister off my property before I pump your guts full of lead. 1,2...10

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Whats the difference between a Mexican and a bench? One is a human being and one is an inanimate object that people enjoy sitting on.

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A clown walks into a bar and orders a pie. After about 2 minutes, the bartender gives him a pie. Later, a blonde walks into a bar and orders a cake. After about 1 minute, the bartender gives her a cake. Then a dog walks into a bar. It doesn't order anything because it's a dog.

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* pretend your an orphan Knock knock Who's there? Not your parents.

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What is the difference between a group of magicians and a cheerleading squad? One has a cunning array of stunts.

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Why is my phone bill so low this month? Because you have no friends.

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What does a Twihard, a Brony, a Belieber and a Gleek all have in common? They all ruin the Internet.

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The Yak, a long-coated bovine found in the Himalayas, is named for its distinct call, which sounds similar to "yak-yak-yakyak".

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Why was the girl crying when she got home? She got raped and mugged on the walk home

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because there were no cars in the way.

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Whats funny about a guy with no legs? I bought him a wheelchair.

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Q.How do you get a dog to meow ? A. Put the dog in the freezer overnight . . Get a chainsaw and run it along his back in the morning . " Meowrrrr..."

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What name do you call a woman who is pregnant? Her first name.

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Why did Dracula cross the road? To get to the other unbitten virgin.

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I love this website, oh shit *Car* Dead*

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Q: What kind of time is it when you fall from a ladder and are moments from landing straight on a operational circle saw? Moral: ITS TIME TO SPLIT!

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Friends are like trees. They fall when hit multiple times with an axe.

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Why do deer have horns? Because god made them that way.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops